Chapter 1

Sunday School Easter holidays had only just begun and I already wanted to stick my head in a bucket of frogspawn. Correction, a wok full of frogspawn. Because unlike other families who might have a proper frog pond, we have one made out of a Chinese frying pan. Dad doesn't like chucking anything out, so he had a brainwave to reuse the wok after I ruined

主日学校的复活节假期才刚刚开始，我就想把头伸进一桶青蛙卵里。 更正，是一锅蛙卵。 因为不像其他家庭可能有一个真正的青蛙池塘，我们有一个用中国煎锅做的。 爸爸不喜欢扔掉任何东西，所以他灵机一动把我弄坏的锅重新用了

it burning an omelette. He says he likes saving nature, but we all know it's really the pennies he's trying to save! The Easter holidays were boring but I didn't complain out loud because if I do Mam always thinks of chores for me, normally involving bins, and I wasn't doing that rubbish! (HA! HA!) I went upstairs to hide and my little brother Oli was in our bedroom (because we share, worst luck). 'What are you doing?' I said. 'Counting my Easter eggs,' he replied.

它在烧煎蛋。他说他喜欢保护自然，但我们都知道他其实是想节省一分钱！复活节假期很无聊，但我没有大声抱怨，因为如果我抱怨的话，妈妈总是替我做家务，通常包括垃圾箱，而我没有做那些垃圾！(哈!哈!)我上楼躲了起来，我的弟弟奥利在我们的卧室里（因为我们睡在一起，真倒霉）。 “你在干什么？”我说。 “数我的复活节彩蛋，”他回答。

He only had four, I could see that as soon as I walked in. Blimey, he must have been more bored than I was! He was prodding the eggs with his Luke Skywalker action figure's hand as he counted. Then he recounted just to make sure. UGH.

他只有四个，我一进去就能看出来。 天哪，他一定比我还无聊！他一边数着，一边用他的天行者卢克（Luke Skywalker）人偶的手戳着鸡蛋。 然后他重新叙述了一遍，以确定。 啊。

I don't care which comes first but pleeaase: 1) Can I have my own bedroom? 2) Can the holidays be over so I don't have to put up with this madness?! I headed back downstairs but my big brother Jack heard me SHRIEK outside his room as I trod in a lump of homemade slime Oli had dropped on the carpet. 'Oi, Nut, come here!' he shouted. I wish he would stop calling me that. That 'peanut up my nose' incident was over six years ago. I am not that person any more. I am now intelligent, mature and fully aware of

我不在乎哪个先来，但是请：我能有自己的卧室吗？ 假期能不能结束了，这样我就不用再忍受这种疯狂了？我回到楼下，但我的哥哥杰克听到我在他的房间外面尖叫，因为我踩到了奥利掉在地毯上的一团自制黏液。 “喂，坚果，过来！”他喊道。 我希望他别那么叫我。 “花生在我鼻子里”的事件发生在六年前。 我不再是那个人了。 我现在聪明，成熟，充分意识到

the correct hole food goes into. I opened his door and huffed, 'WHAT?' 'You got any snacks?' he said, staring at his computer screen. Anyone who blatantly insults me then asks for snacks without saying 'please' can go for a naked jog in a cactus field as far as I am concerned. 'Ah no, sorry I haven't,' I lied. Dev, my bezzie mate who goes to drama club, taught me how to look sorry by thinking of something tragic. So while lying to Jack I thought about that family picnic where I accidentally trod on the hem of my skirt as I stood up and ended up faceplanting in the soft cheese swirl.

食物放进去的正确的孔。 我打开他的门，气呼呼地说：“什么？“你有零食吗？”他盯着电脑屏幕说。 在我看来，任何公然侮辱我，然后连“请”都不说就要零食的人都可以去仙人掌地里裸跑。 “啊，没有，对不起，我没有。” 戴夫，我在戏剧俱乐部的好朋友，教我如何通过想一些悲惨的事情来表现出抱歉。 所以，当我对杰克撒谎时，我想起了那次家庭野餐，我站起来时不小心踩到了裙子的下摆，结果脸被软奶酪漩涡绊倒了。