9. Just Say No to Clubs

9 Just Say No... to Clubs Me and the other human children were eating lunch in the vomitorium, which used to be called the cafetorium until some kid threw up in there last year. Everybody was talking about the clubs they had joined. Emily told us she was in the Read to Kindergarten Club. She goes to the

9直接说不……我和其他人类的孩子们在一个叫vomitorium的地方吃午饭，这个地方以前叫cafetorium，直到去年有个孩子在那里吐了。 每个人都在谈论他们加入的俱乐部。 艾米丽告诉我们她参加了幼儿园读书俱乐部。 她去了

kindergarten class and reads to the smaller humans while the kindergarten teachers get to go hang out in the teachers' lounge. Michael told us he was in the Lawn Mower Racing Club. He said members of the club race around the field behind the school pushing lawn mowers. That sounded pretty cool until Michael told us he thought it was just a way to get kids to mow the lawn for free. Alexia told us she was in the Can-Can Club. She goes around to all the classrooms at the end of the school day and empties the teachers' garbage cans into a dumpster. Ryan told us he was in the Add Paper to the Copy Machine Club. He goes to the front office after school and puts new paper in the copy machine. Neil told us he was in the Clean the Toilets Club. He goes into the restrooms after school and cleans the toilets. Gross! Andrea was wearing her mean face.

上幼儿园的课，给小孩子读书，而幼儿园老师则去教师休息室闲逛。 迈克尔告诉我们他参加了割草机赛车俱乐部。 他说，俱乐部的成员在学校后面的操场上推着割草机赛跑。 这听起来很酷，直到迈克尔告诉我们，他认为这只是让孩子们免费割草坪的一种方式。 亚历克西娅告诉我们她在康康俱乐部。 放学后，她走遍所有的教室，把老师的垃圾桶倒进垃圾箱。 瑞安告诉我们他是复印机加纸俱乐部的成员。 放学后，他去前台办公室，把新纸放进复印机。 尼尔告诉我们他参加了清洁厕所俱乐部。 他放学后去洗手间打扫厕所。 恶心!安德里亚带着她那张刻薄的脸。

"I just realized something," she said. "These clubs are not for us to have fun. They are just a way to get us to do things the grown-ups do not want to do!" Andrea was right, for once in her life. What a scam the grown-ups were pulling

“我刚意识到一件事，”她说。 “这些俱乐部不是给我们找乐子的。 他们只是让我们做大人们不想做的事情的一种方式！”安德里亚是对的，这是她一生中唯一一次。 大人们在搞什么骗局啊

on us. "Every time I want to join a club that sounds like fun," I said, "Mrs. Marge says not enough kids signed up for it. Then she puts me in some other dumb club." "That happened to me too!" said Neil, Alexia, Ryan, Emily, Michael, and Andrea. "All these clubs are bogus!" complained Michael. "I hate extracurricular activities!" complained Alexia. "None of the clubs I joined are going to help me get into Harvard," complained Andrea. "I wish we had normal clubs," complained Emily. "Clubs that are fun." "I wish we were in third grade again," complained Ryan. "Yes," agreed Michael. "Then we would not have to be part of any of these clubs. They are no fun at all." "It is not fair!" shouted Alexia. "You guys should have listened to me,"

在我们身上。“每次我想加入一个听起来很有趣的俱乐部，”我说。 马姬说报名的孩子不够多。 然后她把我放进了另一个愚蠢的俱乐部。” “这也发生在我身上！”尼尔、亚历克西娅、瑞安、艾米丽、迈克尔和安德里亚说。 “所有这些俱乐部都是假的！”迈克尔抱怨道。 “我讨厌课外活动！”亚历克西娅抱怨道。 “我参加的社团没有一个能帮我进哈佛，”安德里亚抱怨道。 “我希望我们有正常的俱乐部，”艾米丽抱怨道。 “有趣的俱乐部。”“我希望我们能回到三年级，”瑞恩抱怨道。 “是的，”迈克尔同意道。“那么我们就不必加入这些俱乐部了。 它们一点也不好玩。”“这不公平！” “你们应该听我的”

I told them. "I knew from the start that clubs would be no fun." "We should stop going," Alexia suggested. "We should just say no to clubs." "Yes!" we all agreed. Even Andrea. "NO MORE CLUBS!" we all started chanting. "NO MORE CLUBS!" And you will never believe in a hundred million years who walked through the door at that moment. Nobody! If you tried to walk through a wooden door, you might damage the door with your useless peabrain skull. That was mentioned several times previously in this book. But you will never believe who walked through the doorway.

我告诉了他们。“我从一开始就知道俱乐部不会有什么好玩的。” “我们不该再去了。”亚历克西娅建议道。 “我们应该对俱乐部说不。” “是的！”我们一致同意。安德里亚。 “不要再去俱乐部了！”我们开始高喊。 “不许再打棒子了！”而你永远也不会相信在那一刻是谁走进了那扇门。 没有人!如果你试图穿过一扇木门，你可能会用你无用的头骨损坏这扇门。 这在本书中已经提到过好几次了。 但你绝对不会相信是谁走过门口。

It was Mrs. Marge! "Good afternoon, children!" she said. "Are you excited for extracurricular activities today?" "NO!" we all shouted. "We are not going to extracurricular activities anymore," said Ryan. "Excuse me?" said Mrs. Marge. Human grown-ups are always asking to be excused, even though there is no excuse

是玛姬太太！“下午好，孩子们！”她说。 “你对今天的课外活动感到兴奋吗？”“不！”我们都喊道。 “我们不再参加课外活动了，”瑞恩说。 “什么？”玛姬太太说。 人类的成年人总是要求原谅，即使没有借口