8. A Total Waste of Time

8 A Total Waste of Time Extracurricular Activity Week continued, and Mrs. Marge encouraged us to join the many clubs that small humans like myself can participate in at Ella Mentry School. I signed up for the Arm Wrestling Club because arm wrestling is cool. But Mrs. Marge told me that not enough kids signed up for the Arm Wrestling Club, so she put

me in the Ant Lovers Club instead. It is a club for students who love ants. I signed up for the Bowling Club because bowling is cool. But Mrs. Marge told me that not enough kids signed up for the Bowling Club, so she put me in the Upside Down Club instead. It is a club for students who like to hang upside down. I signed up for the Fishing Club because fishing is cool. But Mrs. Marge told me that not enough kids signed up for the Fishing Club, so she put me in the Free Hugs Club instead. It is a club for students who like to go around hugging complete strangers. That was weird.

I signed up for the Archery Club because shooting arrows at a target is cool. But Mrs. Marge told me that not enough kids signed up for the Archery Club, so she put me in the Squirrel Watching Club instead. It is a club for students who like to go outside and act like they have never seen a squirrel before.

I signed up for the Kayaking Club because kayaking is cool. But Mrs. Marge told me that not enough kids signed up for the Kayaking Club, so she put me in the Waffle Eating Club instead. It is a club where you sit around eating waffles. Eating the first waffle was fun, but after two or three waffles, I didn't want to see another waffle for the rest of my life. I signed up for the Kids Who Hate Clubs Club because I decided that I hate clubs. But Mrs. Marge told me that not enough kids signed up for the Kids Who Hate Clubs Club, so she put me in the Open a Jar Club

instead. It's a club for people who need help unscrewing the lids off jars.* None of these silly clubs were any fun at all. I felt that they were a total waste of time, and they were only put in this book because it was 102 pages long and it needs to be 104 pages long.