7. The Toast Club

7 The Toast Club My name is A.J., and I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that computers are so much smarter than human beings. Because that is what I am thinking about. Computers can store unlimited gigabytes of data. But the tiny, pathetic human peabrain can only store a fraction of that. And the peabrain forgets most of it

我叫a.j.，我知道你们在想什么。 你认为计算机比人类聪明得多。 因为这就是我在想的。 计算机可以存储无限的千兆字节的数据。 但人类可怜的小脑瓜只能储存其中的一小部分。 而大脑会忘记大部分

anyway.* I was thinking about such things, and you will never believe who slammed her head against the door at that moment. Nobody! Why would a human being slam their head against a door? You could ruin a perfectly good door with your rock-hard but useless peabrain skull. But you will never believe who walked through the doorway at that moment. It was Mrs. Marge, the human female who is in charge of extracurricular activities at Ella Mentry School! "Welcome to the Toast Club," she announced in her human voice. "Wait a minute," said the annoying human child Andrea Young. "I signed up for the Butterfly Lovers Club." "Me too," said her friend Emily, who has no mind of her own.

无论如何。我正在想这些事情，你绝对不会相信在那一刻是谁把她的头撞在了门上。 没有人!为什么一个人会用头撞门？ 你那坚硬而无用的硬脑壳会毁掉一扇完美的门。 但你绝对不会相信那一刻是谁走过门口。 是玛姬太太，在艾拉门特瑞学校负责课外活动的人类女性！“欢迎来到吐司俱乐部，”她用人类的声音宣布。 “等一下，”讨厌的人类孩子安德里亚·杨说。 “我报名参加了蝴蝶爱好者俱乐部。” “我也是，”她的朋友爱米丽说，她没有自己的想法。

"I am sorry," said Mrs. Marge. "Not enough human children signed up to be in the Butterfly Lovers Club. So I started the Toast Club instead." "But I want to learn about butterflies," said Andrea. "Why would you want to learn about butterflies," asked Mrs. Marge, "when you can learn about toast?" "Toast?" I asked. "What is there to

“对不起，”玛姬太太说。 “没有足够多的人类孩子报名参加梁祝俱乐部。 所以我创办了吐司俱乐部。” “但我想了解蝴蝶，”安德烈说。 “你既然能学会烤面包，为什么还要学习蝴蝶呢？”玛姬太太问。“烤面包?”我问。 “有什么。

learn about toast?" "There are plenty of things to learn about toast," said Mrs. Marge. She informed us that bread was invented in ancient Egypt, but toast dates back to the Greeks. "They used toast to praise their gods in hopes for good health," said Mrs. Marge. "The word 'toast' comes from the Latin word 'tostum,' which means 'to burn,' and blah blah blah blah the toaster was invented in blah blah blah blah and the toaster oven first appeared in blah blah blah blah..." She went on and on talking about the history of toast. "We can make toast with any kind of bread," said Mrs. Marge. "White bread. Rye bread. Whole wheat bread. Gluten-free bread blah blah blah blah pumpernickel bread blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah..." She named every kind of bread that

学会烤面包吗？”“关于烤面包有很多东西要学，”玛姬太太说。 她告诉我们面包是在古埃及发明的，但烤面包可以追溯到希腊人。 “他们用烤面包来赞美他们的神，希望他们身体健康。”玛姬太太说。 “‘toast’这个词来自拉丁语‘tostum’，意思是‘燃烧’，还有诸如此类的东西。烤面包机是在诸如此类的地方发明的，而烤面包机烤箱最早出现在诸如此类的地方……” 她不停地讲土司的历史。 “我们可以用任何面包做吐司，”玛姬太太说。 ”白面包。黑麦面包。全麦面包。 无麸质面包，等等，等等，黑麦面包，等等，等等，等等，等等，等等，等等，等等，等等……” 她把每一种面包都命名为

exists. What a festival of snooze! It was the most boring half hour in the history of the world. "Wow, toast is fascinating!" said Andrea, who was taking notes in a notebook so that if anybody ever mentions toast she can tell them something they do not know. "I agree," said Emily. "I had no idea that toast had such an interesting history." "Hey," said Ryan, who likes to eat inedible things. "How come when you drop a piece of toast on the floor, it always seems to land with the buttered-side down?" "That is an excellent question, Ryan," said Mrs. Marge. "I bet it is because the weight of the butter on one side of the toast pulls it toward the floor," I guessed. "Most people think that," said Mrs. Marge. "But the butter is spread evenly across the toast, so it really does not affect

的存在。多么打瞌睡的节日啊！这是世界历史上最无聊的半个小时。 “哇，烤面包棒极了！”安德里亚说，她正在笔记本上做笔记，这样如果有人提到烤面包，她就可以告诉他们一些他们不知道的事情。 “我同意，”爱米丽说。“我不知道吐司有这么有趣的历史。” “嘿，”瑞安说，他喜欢吃不能吃的东西。 “为什么当你把一片烤面包片掉在地板上时，它似乎总是带黄油的一面朝下？”“这是个好问题，瑞恩，”玛姬太太说。 “我敢打赌，这是因为面包一边的黄油的重量把它拉向地板，”我猜。 “大多数人都这么想，”玛姬太太说。 “但是黄油均匀地涂在吐司上，所以它真的没有影响

how it lands. The toast lands buttered-side down because you drop it at an angle, and it only has the chance to turn halfway around by the time it hits the floor blah blah blah blah..." "Fascinating!" Andrea said as she wrote in her notebook. I wish that a truck full of buttered toast would fall on Andrea's head, but that is not likely to happen because trucks don't carry toast. Humans make toast at home, and they are constantly dropping it on the floor because they are clumsy oafs. We spent a hundred million minutes learning all about toast. Then Mrs. Marge put some pieces of bread into the toaster oven. We toasted them until they were golden brown. Then we spread butter and jam on top of them. "I would like to propose a toast," Mrs. Marge said as she picked up a piece of toast. "A toast... to toast." I picked up a piece of toast. Ryan

它是如何着陆的。面包片有黄油的一面朝下，因为你把它放在一个角度，它只有机会在落地前转一半的时间，等等等等……” “迷人!”安德里亚边在笔记本上写边说。 我希望一辆装满黄油吐司的卡车砸在安德里亚的头上，但这不太可能发生，因为卡车不载吐司。 人类在家里做吐司，但他们总是把吐司掉在地板上，因为他们是笨拙的笨蛋。 我们花了1亿分钟来学习烤面包。 然后玛姬太太把几片面包放进了烤面包机。 我们把它们烤成金黄色。 然后我们在上面涂上黄油和果酱。 “我想提议大家举杯，”玛姬太太说着，拿起一片吐司。 “干杯……面包。”我拿起一片吐司。 瑞安