3. Glub, Glub

3 Glub, Glub Just about everybody in my class signed up for the Swimming Club. Of course! Swimming is fun, and we never get the chance to swim during school hours. So after school on Tuesday, we all went home to change into bathing suits.* Then our parents dropped us off at the local swim club.

When we got there, you'll never believe who was waiting for us in the parking lot. It was Mrs. Marge! "I didn't know you were in charge of the Swimming Club, Mrs. Marge," I said to her. "I'm not," she replied. "This is the Underwater Hockey Club." "The WHAT?!" "The Underwater Hockey Club," she repeated. "I thought this was the Swimming Club," said Emily. "Oh, there will be lots of swimming," said Mrs. Marge, "while you play hockey." I figured she had to be kidding this time. But Mrs. Marge wasn't smiling. She walked us over to the pool and gave each of us a hockey stick. I looked in the pool. Under the water at each end was a goal.

"We're actually going to play hockey?" asked Michael. "Underwater?" "Yes!" said Mrs. Marge. "Why else would it be called the Underwater Hockey Club?" Mrs. Marge explained to us that a regular hockey game moves very fast, and

a lot of kids can't keep up. She also said that regular hockey can be dangerous because the players are always bumping into each other and falling down on the hard ice. Playing hockey underwater is much slower and safer, she told us. It made sense, I guess. Hockey is cool. Maybe underwater hockey would be cool too. "I'm scared," said Emily, who's scared of everything. "Don't worry, Emily," said Andrea, "I've got this. Last year, I took a class after school in underwater hockey." Of course. Andrea takes classes in everything after school. If they gave a class on how to stand on your head, Andrea would take that class so she could get better at it. "Let's see," said Mrs. Marge. "How can we divide you kids into two teams?" "Girls against boys!" shouted Andrea. "Yeah!" all the boys shouted.

"Okay," said Mrs. Marge. "Two on two. Ryan and A.J. will be on one team. Andrea and Emily will be on the other team." "What about the rest of us?" complained Michael. "I want to play underwater hockey too." "You'll get your turn," said Mrs. Marge. "Be patient. Okay, the first four kids into the pool!" Me and Ryan and Andrea and Emily jumped into the pool. It was too deep to stand, so we had to tread water. "Are you coming in, Mrs. Marge?" asked Andrea. "No, I don't like to get wet," Mrs. Marge replied. "I'm going to drop the puck in the middle of the pool. The object of the game is to move the puck to the other end and score a goal on your opponents. Ready... Set..." Mrs. Marge blew her whistle and dropped the puck into the water. We all started yelling and screaming and hooting

and hollering and freaking out. "Get it!" "I don't see it!" "Where is it?" "Hold your breath!" "Ow! You hit me with your stick!" "I did not!" "Help!" "Pass the puck!" "I can't! I lost my stick!" "I have water up my nose!" "I can't swim!" "I can't breathe!" "I'm drowning!" "Glub, glub!" glubbed Emily. People who are drowning always say "glub, glub." Nobody knows why. Underwater hockey turned out to be no fun at all. Bubbles were everywhere. I couldn't see. I thought I was gonna die. It was ridorkulous. I wanted to run away to Antarctica and go live with the penguins. Penguins don't have to play