8. Parents Are Weird

8 Parents Are Weird As Professor Armpit drove me back to school, I thought about what I could do with a thousand dollars. I could buy a speedboat. Yeah, that would be cool! But I don't think I'm old enough to drive a speedboat. Maybe I could go to outer space! All these bazillionaires are starting companies

that send regular people to space. I could buy a ticket and be the first kid in space! Andrea would be so jealous. Better yet, I thought, maybe I could just buy the Super Bowl! Yeah! I would rename it the Super Artlo Bowl.* I was thinking so hard about what I was going to do with the money that I didn't notice Professor Armpit missed the turn to go back to school. He was driving to my house instead. "Aren't you going to take me back to school?" I asked. "Going to school will only hold back your genius," Professor Armpit told me as we pulled into my driveway. "You mean I don't have to go to school anymore?" I asked. "Of course not," he replied. "Your mind needs to be free to create your artistic vision." Yay! No more school! This was the greatest day of my life.

I was about to get out of the car when Professor Armpit leaned over to me. "I have an assignment for you, Artlo," he said. "The art world moves fast, and word gets around. You need to make twenty more pieces of art, as quickly as possible. We'll have a one-man show, fill a gallery with your new creations, and it will sell for millions. Can you do that?" "Uh... okay," I replied. At that moment, my parents came out of the house. "How did the auction go?" asked my dad.

"My dumb sculpture sold for a thousand dollars!" I told him. "WHAT?!" shouted my mom. "A thousand dollars! That is fantastic!" "And that's just the beginning," Professor Armpit told them. "Artlo is going to have his own one-man show. I'm sure the art will bring in millions." "Bazillions!" I said. "That is great news!" my mom said excitedly. "This could pay for your college

education, A.J.!" "We could get a new car!" shouted my dad. "Maybe we can build that swimming pool we've been talking about!" shouted my mom. "And, honey, you could retire early!" WHAT?! I thought it was my money. "I was thinking about buying the Super Bowl," I told them. But my parents didn't hear me. They were jumping up and down and hugging each other. "We can put a new addition on the house!" shouted my dad.

While they were celebrating, Professor Armpit whispered to me again. "I've got to go," he said. "But this is very important, Artlo. Don't tell anybody about the new art you're working on. The art world is very competitive and secretive. There are spies everywhere. You don't want anybody to steal your genius ideas." "Got it." Professor Armpit reminded me to get to work on my new art right away. I got out