7. Going Once Going Twice

7 Going Once... Going Twice... I was at school the next day, minding my own business in Miss Banks's class. "Turn to page twenty-three in your math books," said Miss Banks. Ugh. Do we have to do math? But that's when the weirdest thing in the history of the world happened. An announcement came over the loudspeaker.

7一次……将两次…… 第二天我在学校，在班克斯小姐的课上做我自己的事。 “翻到数学课本的第二十三页，”班克斯小姐说。 啊。我们一定要做数学吗？ 但就在那时，世界历史上最奇怪的事情发生了。 扩音器里传来了通告。

Well, that's not the weird part. We get announcements over the loudspeaker all the time. The weird part was what happened next. "Miss Banks, please send A.J. to the office." "Ooooh!" everybody oooohed. "A.J. is in trouble!" I got out of my seat and walked a million hundred miles to the office. And you'll never believe who was standing there. I'm not going to tell you. Okay, okay, I'll tell you. It was Professor Armpit! "Artlo!" he said. "Quickly! I need you to come with me." "But it's the middle of a school day," I said. "You can go to school anytime," he told me. "This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Don't worry. I got permission from your parents."

这还不是奇怪的地方。 我们的扩音器里一直有广播。 最奇怪的是接下来发生的事情。 “班克斯小姐，请派A.J.来 去办公室。”“哦！”每个人都发出了惊叹的声音。 “A.J.有麻烦了！”我从座位上站起来，走了100万英里去了办公室。 你绝对不会相信站在那里的是谁。 我不会告诉你的。 好吧，好吧，我告诉你。 是腋窝教授！“阿特罗！” “快!我需要你跟我走。” “但现在是上学的中午，”我说。 “你随时都可以去上学，”他告诉我。 “这是一个千载难逢的机会。 别担心。我得到了你父母的许可。”

Sounded good to me. At least I would be getting out of math. We got into Professor Armpit's car and he drove downtown to some building with a sign that said CHRISTIE'S. "What's this?" I asked. "A restaurant?" "No." We took the elevator to the second floor. It opened into a big room full of grown-ups sitting on chairs. There must have been a hundred of them, and they were all holding paddles in their hands. "What's with the paddles?" I asked Professor Armpit. "Is this a Ping-Pong tournament?" "No, it's an auction," he whispered. "We're going to sell your masterpiece. Shhh! Let's sit down." We found seats in the back. I looked around the room. There were no pretzels or snacks anywhere. "Nobody's gonna buy Future Art," I whispered to Professor Armpit.

听起来不错。至少我不用再学数学了。 我们上了腋窝教授的车，他把车开到市中心的一栋大楼，上面写着“佳士得”。 “这是什么?”我问。“餐馆?”“没有。” 我们乘电梯上了二楼。 它通向一个大房间，里面坐满了坐在椅子上的成年人。 他们大概有一百个人，手里都拿着桨。 “这些桨是怎么回事？”我问腋窝教授。 “这是乒乓球比赛吗？”“不，这是拍卖，”他低声说。 “我们要卖掉你的杰作。 嘘!我们坐下来吧。”我们在后面找到了座位。 我环顾了一下房间。到处都没有椒盐脆饼或零食。 “没人会买未来艺术的。”我小声对腋窝教授说。

"Sure they will," he whispered back. "Everything has its price." In the front of the room, some guy in a suit was standing behind a podium. My dumb tube of paint was taped to the wall behind him. "Our next artwork is by a young man who goes by the name of Artlo," he said into a microphone. "It is titled Future Art. Let's start the bidding. Who will offer one hundred dollars for this sculpture?" A hundred dollars? Was he joking? It was a tube of paint taped to the wall! A bunch of art nerds raised their paddles and shouted "A hundred!" "Excellent start!" said the auctioneer. "Who will offer two hundred dollars?" "Two hundred!" somebody shouted, raising his paddle. "See?" Professor Armpit whispered. "Your art is valuable!"

“他们当然会的。”他小声回答。 “凡事都有代价。” 在教室前面，一个穿西装的人站在讲台后面。 我那该死的油漆管被粘在他身后的墙上。 “我们的下一件作品是一位名叫阿特洛的年轻人创作的，”他对着麦克风说。 展览名为《未来艺术》。我们开始竞价吧。 谁愿意出一百美元买这个雕塑？”100美元？ 他是在开玩笑吗？那是一管粘在墙上的油漆！一群艺术书呆子举起桨，喊道：“一百！”“很好的开始！”拍卖师说。 “谁出两百美元？”“两百！”有人举起桨喊道。 “看到了吗?”腋窝教授小声说。 “你的艺术很有价值！”

"Do I hear three hundred dollars?"

“有人给我三百美元吗？”

asked the auctioneer. "Three hundred!" somebody yelled. "Four hundred!" "Five hundred!" I couldn't believe it. These art nerds were bidding on my fake art! "Six hundred!" "Seven hundred!" "Eight hundred!" People were jumping out of their seats and holding their paddles in the air to get the auctioneer's attention. It was amazing. You should have been there! "Nine hundred!" "Nine fifty!"

拍卖师问。“三百！”有人喊道。 “四百年!”“五百年!”我简直不敢相信。 这些艺术呆子在竞拍我的赝品！“六百年!”“七百年!”“八百年!”人们从座位上跳起来，把拍子举在空中，以引起拍卖商的注意。 太神奇了。你应该去的！“九百年!”“九百五十年!”