5. Artlo

5 Artlo I thought Professor Armpit had to be joking. I didn't make any art. All I did was tape a tube of paint to the wall. And he fell for it. What a scam. "YES! YES! YES!" Professor Armpit shouted. "This young man is a genius!"

阿特罗：我想腋窝教授一定是在开玩笑。 我没有做任何艺术。我所做的就是把一管油漆粘在墙上。 他上当了。真是个骗局。 “是啊!是的!是的!”腋窝教授喊道。 “这个年轻人真是个天才！”

I looked over at Andrea. She had on her

我看着安德里亚。在她身上

mean face, and her arms were folded in front of her. Anytime somebody folds their arms in front of them, it means they're mad. Nobody knows why. I stuck my tongue out at Andrea. "Well, yes," said Ms. Hannah, "all of our students at Ella Mentry School are creative. I work very hard every day to encourage them to—" "He is brilliant!" interrupted Professor Armpit. "This is a masterpiece that combines the elements of post-modernist blah blah blah blah with new wave expressionism blah blah blah blah..." He went on and on about my fake art. Professor Armpit was so excited. I thought he was gonna faint. "All he did was tape a tube of paint to the wall!" shouted Andrea. Boy, was she mad! It was the greatest moment of my life. This was the next best thing to watching an elephant fall on Andrea's head.

一脸刻薄，双臂交叉放在身前。 只要有人把胳膊交叉在胸前，就说明他们疯了。 没人知道为什么。我朝安德里亚伸出舌头。 “嗯，是的，”汉娜女士说，“我们艾拉门特里学校的所有学生都很有创造力。 我每天都很努力地鼓励他们——”“他很聪明！” “这是一个结合了后现代主义和新浪潮表现主义等等等等元素的杰作……” 他没完没了地说我的赝品。 腋窝教授兴奋极了。 我以为他要晕倒了。 “他只是用胶带把一管油漆粘在墙上！”安德烈喊道。 天哪，她疯了！那是我一生中最伟大的时刻。 这是仅次于看着大象砸在安德莉亚头上的好事。

"What's the big deal?" asked Alexia. "Any of us could have done that." "But none of you did!" said Professor Armpit. "Don't you see? The tube of paint is symbolic of the future blah blah blah blah, and the tape symbolizes the shackles we have that prevent humanity from achieving our dreams of a perfect future blah blah blah blah." "Yeah," I added. "What he said." "Do you like my flowers?" asked Andrea. But Professor Armpit just ignored her. He couldn't take his eyes off the paint tube I taped to the wall. "I have not been this excited about a new young artist since Keith Haring came on the scene," said Professor Armpit. I had no idea who that guy was. "You are going to be the next big thing!" he continued. "The next Van Gogh! The next Rembrandt! The next Picasso!"

“这有什么大不了的？”亚历克西娅问。 “我们中的任何一个人都能做到这一点。” “可是你们谁也没有！”腋窝教授说。 “你还不明白吗？”这管颜料象征着未来，等等，等等，等等，而带子象征着阻碍人类实现完美未来梦想的枷锁，等等，等等，等等。” “是的，”我补充道。“他说的话。” “你喜欢我的花吗？”安德烈问。 但是腋窝教授根本不理她。 他目不转睛地盯着我贴在墙上的油漆管。 “自从Keith Haring出现以来，我还没有对一位新的年轻艺术家如此兴奋过，”腋窝教授说。 我不知道那人是谁。 “你将成为下一个大人物！”他继续说道。 “下一个梵高！”下一个伦勃朗！下一个毕加索！”

"Who are they?" asked Neil. "I think they used to play for the Lakers," I told him. Andrea was really mad. "It's not fair!" she said, stomping her foot on the floor. "Arlo isn't an artist! He's never even heard of Picasso!" Professor Armpit stuck his face near mine. "Your name is Arlo?" he asked. "Yeah," I admitted. The only person who calls me Arlo is Andrea, because she knows I don't like it.

“他们是谁？”尼尔问。 “我想他们以前是湖人队的，”我告诉他。 安德里亚真的很生气。“这不公平！”她边说边用脚跺着地板。 “阿乐不是艺术家！”他甚至都没听说过毕加索！”腋窝教授把脸凑近我的脸。 “你叫阿乐？”他问。 “是的，”我承认。唯一叫我阿尔洛的人是安德里亚，因为她知道我不喜欢这个名字。

"From now on," Professor Armpit said, "the world will know you as... Artlo!" "Artlo?" I asked. "Yes, the great artists of history were known by one name—Michelangelo, Leonardo, Raphael..."* Professor Armpit couldn't stop raving about my dumb artwork. "I've been waiting my entire life to discover the next genius," he said. "And here I have discovered Artlo, in the least likely place." "You can call me A.J.," I told him. "It's funny, Artlo," said Professor Armpit. "Sometimes we can spend our lives searching for something, and the whole time it was right under our nose." What was he talking about? Right under my nose is my mouth. Professor Armpit grabbed my hands. "Artlo, allow me to touch the hands that created this masterpiece," he said. "Let me touch the brain that could think

“从现在开始，”腋窝教授说，“全世界都知道你是…… Artlo !”“Artlo ?”我问。“是的，历史上伟大的艺术家都有一个名字——米开朗基罗、列奥纳多、拉斐尔……”*腋窝教授不停地对我愚蠢的艺术作品赞不绝口。 “我一生都在等待发现下一个天才，”他说。 “我在最不可能的地方发现了阿特洛。” “你可以叫我aj，”我告诉他。 “真有趣，阿特洛。” “有时候，我们可以花一辈子的时间去寻找一些东西，而它一直就在我们的眼皮底下。” 他在说什么？ 就在我鼻子下面是我的嘴。 腋窝教授抓住我的手。 “阿特罗，请允许我触摸一下创造这幅杰作的双手，”他说。 “让我摸摸会思考的大脑