3. The Greatest Idea in the History of the World

3 The Greatest Idea in the History of the World When we got back to school, Ms. Hannah brought us to the junk room. I mean, the art room. "I hope visiting the Museum of Recent Art inspired you to create some art of your own," she said. "Let's do finger painting!" Ugh. No way. "I'm not gonna paint my fingers," I

said. Everybody laughed even though I didn't say anything funny. "No, silly!" Ms. Hannah told me as she took some tubes of paint out of the closet. "You use your fingers like a paintbrush." "What should we paint?" asked Emily. "Anything you like!" replied Ms. Hannah. "Express your creativity. Just

paint what you love." "I love flowers," Andrea said. "I'm going to make a pretty picture of roses in a colorful garden." "I'm going to make a barn next to Andrea's rose garden," said Emily. "I'm going to make a picture of a hurricane," I said, "blowing down a barn and crushing a garden full of roses." Andrea rolled her eyes. "That's mean!" Emily said. She looked like she was going to cry, as usual. "Hey, I'm just expressing my creativity," I told her. Everybody got to work. Ryan started finger painting a picture of a car. Michael started finger painting a picture of a football. Everybody was hard at work finger painting. I didn't want to get that yucky finger paint all over my hands. It was gross. I just sat there watching everybody. Ms. Hannah walked around the room

looking at everybody's artwork. "That's very nice, Andrea," she said. "That's lovely, Neil," she said. "Very interesting, Alexia," she said. Grown-ups say "very interesting" when something is terrible but they don't want to hurt a kid's feelings. I'm on to their tricks. "A.J.," whispered Emily, "why aren't you finger painting?" "None of your beeswax," I told her. "Ms. Hannah!" Andrea called out. "A.J. isn't finger painting." Why can't a truck full of finger paint fall on tattletale Andrea's head? She stuck out her tongue at me as Ms. Hannah came over to my table. "Is anything wrong, A.J.?" Ms. Hannah asked. "Don't you want to create some artwork?" "No," I said. "I'm not artistic." Ms. Hannah laughed. "Oh, come on! Remember what Professor Pitt told us.

Everyone is artistic. Let's go, A.J. This period is almost over. I want to see you make some art before the bell rings." Ms. Hannah walked away. I looked at the clock. There were five minutes left in the period. How was I supposed to make art in just five minutes? I didn't have any ideas. Four minutes. Three minutes. Two minutes. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to do. I had to think fast. That's when I came up with the greatest idea in the history of the world. I picked up a tube of finger paint. Then I tore off a long piece of Scotch tape from the tape dispenser. "What are you doing, A.J.?" asked Emily. "You'll see." I stuck the strip of tape to the tube of finger paint. Then I got up and taped the

tube against the wall. "There!" I announced. "That's my art." Everybody laughed. "That's not art!" said Andrea. "You just taped a tube of paint to the wall." "Yeah, I know," I said. "Art is in the eye of the bee holder." "It is not!" "Is too!" "Oooooooooh," said Ryan. "A.J. and Andrea are bickering. They must be in love!" "When are you gonna get married?" asked Michael. "Settle down, kids," said Ms. Hannah. "Admit it, Arlo," whispered Andrea. "You're just too lazy to paint a picture." "Hey," I told Andrea, "Professor Armpit said anything can be art. This is a thing, so it's art."