1. Ms. Hannah Loves Garbage

1 Ms. Hannah Loves Garbage My name is A.J. and I know what you're thinking. You're thinking about babysitting. I know, because that's what I'm thinking about. I don't get it. Why would anybody want to sit on a baby? That's mean. You could hurt the baby. What did a baby ever do to

汉娜女士喜欢垃圾我叫A.J. 我知道你在想什么 你在考虑当保姆。 我知道，因为我也在想这个。 我不明白。为什么会有人想坐在婴儿身上？ 这是意思。你会伤到孩子的。 一个婴儿做过什么

you? The point is, we were in Miss Banks's class the other day. "I have an announcement to make," Miss Banks announced. "School is canceled for the rest of your lifetime." WHAT?! Everybody started yelling and screaming and hooting and hollering and freaking out. "Just kidding," said Miss Banks. "Time is fun when you're having flies! Line up for art class." Miss Banks pulls lots of pranks. I hate art class. Why do we have to have art? If you ask me, drawing pictures is for little kids. "Yay, I love art!" announced Andrea, this annoying girl with curly brown hair. Of course Andrea loves art. She loves everything I hate. She even takes art classes after school. Andrea takes classes in everything after school. If they gave classes

你吗?重点是，那天我们在班克斯小姐的课上。 “我要宣布一件事，”班克斯小姐宣布。 “你这辈子都不能上学了” 什么? !每个人都开始大喊大叫，尖叫，尖叫，尖叫，惊慌失措。 “开个玩笑，”班克斯小姐说。 “当你有苍蝇的时候，时间是有趣的！”排队上美术课。” 班克斯小姐爱搞恶作剧。 我讨厌美术课。我们为什么要有艺术？ 要我说，画画是小孩子的事。 “耶，我爱艺术！”安德里亚宣布，这个烦人的棕色卷发女孩。 Andrea当然喜欢艺术。 她喜欢我讨厌的一切。 她甚至在放学后上美术课。 安德里亚放学后要上各种课程。 如果他们上课

in how to blow your nose, she would take that class so she could get better at it. Andrea took a big box out of her desk. It had crayons, colored pencils, glue sticks, and other artsy stuff in it. "When I grow up, I want to be an artist," Andrea said. "My mom thinks I'm really creative. I like to make things." "She should make like a tree and leave," I whispered to Michael, who never ties his shoes. Michael laughed, but Miss Banks made a mean face at him and he stopped laughing really fast. "Any questions before we head to the art room?" asked Miss Banks. "If you add an F to ART you get fart," I said. Everybody laughed because I said "fart." Anytime anybody says the word "fart," you have to laugh. That's the first rule of being a kid.

在如何擤鼻涕方面，她会去上那门课，这样她就能学得更好。 安德里亚从她的书桌里拿出一个大盒子。 里面有蜡笔、彩色铅笔、胶棒和其他艺术用品。 “当我长大后，我想成为一名艺术家，”安德里亚说。 “我妈妈觉得我很有创造力。 我喜欢做东西。”“她应该像树一样离开，”我低声对迈克尔说，他从不系鞋带。 迈克尔笑了，但班克斯小姐对他做了个刻薄的鬼脸，他很快就不笑了。 “在我们去美术室之前，还有什么问题吗？”班克斯小姐问。 “如果你在ART后面加个F，你就得到了屁，”我说。 大家都笑了，因为我说了“放屁”。 只要有人说“屁”这个词，你就得笑。 这是当孩子的第一准则。

"That's not a question, A.J.," said Miss Banks. "But thank you for that valuable insight. Onward, fourth graders! To the art room!" The art room is on the other side of the school. We had to walk a million hundred miles to get there. Ryan, who will eat anything, was the door holder. Alexia, this girl who rides a skateboard all the time, was the line leader. Our art teacher, Ms. Hannah, was already waiting for us outside the art room. She was wearing a weird hat. "Good morning, fourth graders!" she said as we filed into the art room. "Do you like my new hat? I made it from bottle caps I found in the garbage can next to the

“这不是问题，a.j.，”班克斯小姐说。 “但是谢谢你的宝贵见解。 前进，四年级学生！去美术室！”美术室在学校的另一边。 我们得走一百万英里才能到那里。 赖安什么都吃，他是门托。 亚历克西娅，这个整天玩滑板的女孩，是队伍的领队。 我们的美术老师汉娜女士已经在美术室外面等我们了。 她戴着一顶奇怪的帽子。 “四年级的同学们，早上好！”当我们鱼贯进入美术室时，她说。 “你喜欢我的新帽子吗？”我用在垃圾桶里找到的瓶盖做的

vending machine in the teachers' lounge." It was the weirdest-looking hat in the history of the world. But I didn't say that, because it would be rude. "Your hat is bee-you-tee-full!" Andrea gushed. "I agree!" said Andrea's crybaby friend, Emily, who always agrees with Andrea. Ms. Hannah could have made her hat out of frog turds and Andrea and Emily would say it was beautiful. Those two love sucking up to teachers. The art room is filled with all kinds of junk—old musical instruments, broken toys, bubble wrap, plastic bags, clothespins. At home, my mom makes me clean up my room all the time and pick up after myself. But I guess art teachers are allowed to be slobs. Hey, maybe I should become an art teacher when I grow up! Neil, who we call the nude kid even though he wears clothes, asked Ms.

教师休息室里的自动售货机。” 这是世界历史上最奇怪的帽子。 但我没那么说，因为那样很不礼貌。 “你的帽子太满了！”安德里亚涌。 “我同意！”安德里亚爱哭的朋友艾米丽说，她总是同意安德里亚的观点。 汉娜可以用青蛙粪做帽子安德里亚和艾米丽会说很漂亮。 那两个喜欢拍老师的马屁。 美术室里堆满了各种各样的垃圾——旧乐器、破玩具、气泡膜、塑料袋、衣夹。 在家里，我妈妈总是让我打扫房间，自己收拾。 但我想美术老师也可以是懒汉。 嘿，也许我长大后应该成为一名美术老师！尼尔，我们管他叫裸体小孩，尽管他穿着衣服。