2. Funderama

2 Funderama We all followed Mrs. Stoker outside, where the school bus was waiting.* Our bus driver is Mrs. Kormel, who is not normal. "Bingle boo!" she said. That means "hello." Mrs. Kormel invented her own secret language. Nobody knows why.

She drove us a million hundred miles. Well, it seemed like that, anyway. Finally, the bus pulled up to a building with a big sign out front that said "NBN-TV'S Funderama." "Funderama!" we all shouted at the same time. Funderama is a TV show for kids. It's on every Saturday morning. The host is this guy named Uncle Fred. "I used to watch Uncle Fred on Funderama when I was little," I said. "So did I!" said Mrs. Kormel. Everybody watched Funderama when they were little. The show has been on TV for something like thirty years. I bet George Washington watched Funderama when he was a kid. "We've been invited to be part of the Funderama studio audience!" Mrs. Stoker said excitedly. "So we get to watch them film the TV show?" asked Ryan. "Live and in-person!" said Mrs. Stoker.

"I met Uncle Fred at Giggles Comedy Club the other night. He gave me free tickets for you kids." Everybody was excited. Well, everybody except me. I watched Funderama when I was in first grade. Now that we're in fourth grade, I'm too old for that silly stuff. Funderama was sure to be totally lame. "My mother used to watch a kids' show called Howdy Doody," Mrs. Kormel said as we got off the bus. Everybody laughed because Mrs. Kormel said "doody." It's okay to say "duty," but we're not supposed to say "doody." Nobody knows why. "Wait a minute," I said. "Somebody's name was Doody?" "Yes!" Mrs. Kormel replied. "He lived in a town called Doodyville." Everybody laughed again. "Howdy Doody" is probably part of the secret language she made up. Mrs. Kormel is definitely not normal.

As we walked inside the NBN-TV studio, each of us was given a name tag. The set looked like somebody's living room, with a fire in the fireplace and everything. There was a big video screen on the wall that said UNCLE FRED'S PLAYHOUSE. There must have been fifty other kids there, sitting on bleachers.

Hey, why do they call them bleachers? I guess they have to wash them with bleach after some little kids pee in their pants during Funderama. We had to sit boy-girl-boy-girl, so we wouldn't talk to anybody. I had to sit between annoying Andrea and crybaby Emily. The TV studio was filled with lights and video screens and big cameras and balloons. We waited a long time until some lady ran onto the stage. "Good morning, everybody!" she said excitedly. "I'm Mrs. Crump, the head of the NBN-TV network. Say, kids, what time is it?" "IT'S UNCLE FRED TIME!" we all screamed, because we've heard that a million hundred times. "Are you kids excited?" Mrs. Crump asked. "YEAH!" We all screamed our heads off again.

"Are we gonna have fun?" "YEAH!" "I-CAN'T-HEAR-YOU!" Grown-ups are always saying they can't hear us. It's just sad. I guess that's what happens when you get old. "YEAH!" we screamed louder. "Are you ready?" "YEAH!" "Here's... Uncle Fred!" Some guy held up cue cards that said WAVE and GO CRAZY, so we all waved and went crazy. The Uncle Fred theme song started playing... It's Uncle Freddy time. He loves to sing and rhyme. He likes to dance and play. He'll dance the day away. He's like a little kid. He'll make you flip your lid. Forget about bedtime, it's Uncle Freddy time!