4. Hunting the Sloof Lirpa

4 Hunting the Sloof Lirpa "Before we move on to science," announced Miss Banks, "who wants a doughnut?" "I do!" "I do!" "I do!" In case you were wondering, everybody wanted a doughnut. I love doughnuts.

They're my second-favorite treat, right after Oreos. "Do you have any Oreos?" I asked. "No," said Miss Banks. "Just doughnuts." She brought out a big box and said each of us could take one doughnut. Neil went first. "Wait a minute!" Neil shouted after he looked inside the box. "Those aren't doughnuts! They're carrots and cucumbers and broccoli and a bunch of other veggies!" "WHAT?!" yelled Miss Banks. "This is an outrage! I asked for doughnuts. How did those veggies get in here? I want my money back!" Ugh, veggies. I can't believe grown-ups expect us to eat stuff that grew out of the dirt. The only person who ate the veggies was Ryan. Of course, he'll eat anything. "What are we going to learn in science this year?" asked Andrea, who only wants

to learn stuff so she can show off how smart she is. "Oh, we're going to learn about the planets and space and stars and electricity and the water cycle and weather and blah blah blah blah..." Miss Banks went on for like a million hundred years. What a snoozefest. "But today, we're going out for a science field trip," she said. "We're going birding."* Miss Banks grabbed some binoculars from her desk drawer. We all lined up and went out to the playground. At the edge of the playground are some woods. "Shhhhh!" whispered Miss Banks as she tiptoed into the woods. "We're going to hunt for the elusive Sloof Lirpa." I never heard of a bird called Sloof Lirpa. It must be some really exotic bird. Miss Banks told us the Sloof Lirpa was red and yellow, and it had been spotted in the area. But it's very rare. She passed out

binoculars for all of us. I looked around, but I didn't see any birds at all, much less a Sloof Lirpa. Miss Banks told us how the Sloof Lirpa flies, what it eats, how it raises its young, and other stuff. She opened a bag of marshmallows and gave one to each of us. "The Sloof Lirpa has been known to swoop down and take a marshmallow right out of your hand," said Miss Banks. "It's the most glorious thing!" "Ooooh, I hope we'll see one," Emily said as we tiptoed through the woods.

"Sloof Lirpa!" hollered Miss Banks, holding a marshmallow over her head. "Sloof Lirpa! Loof-aloof-aloooooo!" "What's that?" Ryan asked. "That's the Sloof Lirpa mating call," replied Miss Banks. "You try it." "Sloof Lirpa! Sloof Lirpa!" we all called, "Loof-aloof-alooooo!" "Flap your arms like a bird," instructed Miss Banks. "That attracts them." We all flapped our arms and called out, "Sloof Lirpa! Sloof Lirpa! Loof-aloofalooooo!" There were some birds flying around, but I didn't see a Sloof Lirpa. "Maybe the Sloof Lirpas are hibernating," suggested Alexia. "Like bears." "We just need to keep looking," said Miss Banks. "I know they're out here somewhere." We tiptoed around for a million hundred hours. Not a Sloof Lirpa in sight. Suddenly, Andrea stopped in her tracks.

"Wait a minute!" she said. "Did you see one?" I asked. "Did you see a Sloof Lirpa?" "No," Andrea replied. "We're not going to see any Sloof Lirpas out here." "Why not?" asked Emily. "Because there's no such thing as a Sloof Lirpa!" said Andrea. "How do you know?" asked Michael. "I just figured it out," Andrea told us. "SLOOF LIRPA is APRIL FOOLS backward!" WHAT?!