2. A Real Globetrotter

2 A Real Globetrotter I thought that was the end of our geography lesson. But it wasn't! The next day, we were in the middle of silent reading, and guess who walked through the door. Nobody! You can't walk through a door! Doors are made of wood. But our principal, Mr. Klutz, walked

through the doorway. He has no hair at all. I mean none. He can probably wax his car and his head at the same time. "Mr. Cooper told me you kids are having trouble with geography," said Mr. Klutz. "So I said he could bring in someone to help you learn about it. Mrs. Barr, will you come in, please?" A lady came into the classroom. She had bracelets and necklaces dangling all over her, and she was wearing a dress that looked like a map of the world. In one hand she was holding a basketball, and the other hand was pulling a suitcase. "Hello!" she said cheerfully. "Bonjour! Hola! Guten Tag! Shalom!" She said some other words I never heard before. "All those words mean hello in other languages," said Mr. Cooper. "I met Mrs. Barr when I was in Spain. She's visiting our country, and she agreed to come talk to you."

"Do you mind if I open a window?" asked Mrs. Barr. "It's a little stuffy in here." "Go right ahead," said Mr. Cooper. "Mr. Cooper tells me you're a real globetrotter," Mr. Klutz said to Mrs. Barr. "Is that why you have a basketball?" I asked. "Not that kind of globetrotter,

dumbhead!" whispered Andrea, rolling her eyes.* "Oh, this isn't a basketball," Mrs. Barr told me. "It's a globe. Yes, I've been all over the world. I've visited a hundred and ninety-five countries." "WOW," we all said, which is "MOM" upside down. "Mrs. Barr has generously offered to spend this week at our school," said Mr. Klutz. "And she isn't charging us a penny. She's doing this out of the goodness of her heart. Isn't that wonderful?" We gave her a round of applause. That's what you're supposed to do when people do nice things for free. "I just love geography," said Mrs. Barr. "I am at your disposal." "You're a garbage can?" I asked. "Arlo!" shouted Andrea. "That's not nice!"

"Why do you have a suitcase?" Michael asked Mrs. Barr. "I never know when I might want to travel somewhere," she replied. "I like to be ready at all times. So I take it wherever I go." "Do you take it when you go to the bathroom?" I asked. "Yes!" she replied. "How about in the shower?" asked Ryan. "Do you take your suitcase in the shower with you?" "Well, no," she replied with a laugh. "I don't take it in the shower." It would be weird to take a shower with a suitcase. "Your necklaces are pretty!" said Andrea. "Thank you!" Andrea and Emily were oohing and aahing over Mrs. Barr's jewelry. "I got these necklaces on a trip to

China," she said. "China is amazing. And I got this bracelet when I was visiting India. India is amazing. And I got these earrings in Brazil. Brazil is amazing!" I still can't believe that people poke holes in their ears and stick stuff in them. I don't care what anybody says. That's just weird. "Isn't travel amazing?" asked Mrs. Barr. "Yes!" shouted all the girls. "No!" shouted all the boys. Mr. Cooper told us that Mrs. Barr speaks seven languages: English, Spanish, Turkish, Yiddish, Polish... "Can you speak gibberish?" I asked. "That's not a language, dumbhead!" said Andrea, rolling her eyes. I wish her eyes would roll right out of her head. "Have you ever been to Egypt?" asked Neil. "Oh yes!" Mrs. Barr replied. "I went