7. The Big FART

7 The Big FART Finally, it was F.A.R.T. day, and I wasn't stressed at all. By this point, we were all so relaxed, nothing could stress us out. "Namaste," Ms. Jo-Jo said when she came into our class. For the first time, she wasn't barefoot. "Ms. Jo-Jo!" Alexia said. "You're

最后，是F.A.R.T. 一天，我一点压力都没有。 这时，我们都很放松，没有什么能让我们感到压力。 “合十礼，”乔乔老师走进我们班上时说。 这是她第一次没有光着脚。 “jojo女士!”亚莉克希亚说。“你

wearing sandals!" "Yes, this is a special occasion," she told us. "Do you like them? They're made from recycled Himalayan dream catchers." "They're pretty!" said Andrea, who thinks everything girls wear is pretty. "Good luck on the F.A.R.T. today," said Ms. Jo-Jo. "I'm sure you kids are going to do great!" "We go with the flow, man," said Ryan. "It is what it is," said Alexia. "I'm so chill," said Neil, "I might fall asleep in the middle of the F.A.R.T." "Whatever," I said. That's when Dr. Carbles came in with Mr. Klutz. Dr. Carbles was rubbing his hands together. "These kids are going to fail big

穿凉鞋!”“是的，这是一个特殊的场合，”她告诉我们。 “你喜欢它们吗？”它们是由回收的喜马拉雅捕梦网制成的。” “它们很漂亮！”安德里亚说，她认为女孩穿的每件衣服都很漂亮。 “祝你好运 今天，”乔乔女士说。“我相信你们这些孩子会做得很好！”“我们顺其自然，伙计，”瑞恩说。 “事情就是这样，”亚历克西娅说。 “我太冷了，”尼尔说，“我可能会在F.A.R.T.中睡着。” “无所谓，”我说。就在那时。 卡伯斯和克鲁茨先生一起进来了。 卡布尔斯医生搓着手。 “这些孩子会失败的

time," he said excitedly, "and Ella Mentry School will be shut down forever!" "Oh, I think our students may surprise you," said Mr. Klutz. "They're totally relaxed and ready, thanks to Ms. Jo-Jo." We took out our number two pencils

“时间到了，”他兴奋地说，“艾拉门特里学校将永远关闭！”“哦，我想我们的学生可能会让你大吃一惊，”克鲁茨先生说。 他们完全放松了，准备好了。 乔乔。”我们拿出二号铅笔

and Dr. Carbles handed out the test sheets. The F.A.R.T. looked a lot like the practice test we had taken. The reading part was on one side and arithmetic was on the other side. We had ten minutes to finish both sides of the test. "On your mark... Get set... Go!" said Dr. Carbles. I looked at the first question. It was a story about a girl who doesn't know how to swim, so she takes swimming lessons. Then she's in a canoe that tips over and she saves her best friend's life. The question was: What is the lesson of the story? It was obvious. I wrote: Instead of going canoeing, she should take a turtle yoga class. I looked at the next question. It was a long paragraph about two kids who find a secret cave with a magic lamp and a genie in it. The kids argue over the three wishes

卡伯斯博士发了试卷。 F.A.R.T.看起来很像我们参加过的模拟测试。 阅读部分在一边，算术部分在另一边。 我们有十分钟的时间来完成两边的考试。 “各就各位……预备…… 去吧！”卡伯斯医生说。我看了看第一个问题。 这是一个关于一个女孩的故事，她不会游泳，所以她去上游泳课。 然后她坐在独木舟上，小船翻了，她救了她最好的朋友的命。 问题是：这个故事的教训是什么？ 这是显而易见的。我写道：与其去划独木舟，她应该去上海龟瑜伽课。 我看了看下一个问题。 那是一个很长的段落，讲的是两个孩子发现了一个秘密洞穴，里面有一盏神灯和一个精灵。 孩子们为这三个愿望争论不休

they should wish for. The question was: What is the main idea of the paragraph? Well, that was easy. I wrote: Who cares? Those kids should turn off their minds, relax, and float downstream. I looked at the next question. It was about a bunch of animals. The question was: How are frogs different from toads? How are alligators different from crocodiles? I wrote: Instead of talking about the differences between living creatures, we should talk about the ways we're all the same. I moved on to the next question: Look at this picture. What is going to happen next? I looked at the picture. It showed a family of bunnies frolicking in a field, with a hunter stalking them in the corner. I wrote: The bunnies are going to give each other foot massages and take a sound bath so they can feel their cosmic energy.

他们应该希望。问题是：这段话的主旨是什么？ 嗯，这很简单。我写道：谁在乎呢？ 那些孩子应该停止思考，放松，然后顺流而下。 我看了看下一个问题。 是关于一群动物的。 问题是：青蛙和蟾蜍有什么不同？ 短吻鳄和鳄鱼有什么不同？ 我写道：我们不应该谈论生物之间的差异，而应该谈论我们都是一样的。 我接着问下一个问题：看这张照片。 接下来会发生什么？ 我看着照片。这幅画描绘了一群兔子在田野里嬉戏，一个猎人在角落里跟踪它们。 我写道：小兔子们要给对方做足部按摩，洗个舒服的澡，这样他们就能感受到自己的宇宙能量。

I answered a few more questions like that. Then I turned over the sheet to work on the math questions. The first one was: A pair of new shoes costs $50. How many pairs of shoes can Mary buy for $300? Simple! I wrote: None. Shoes are jail cells for the feet. I moved on to the next question: It takes 25 minutes to play your favorite video game. How many games can you play in 2 hours? Easy! I wrote: None. Instead of playing video games, from now on I'm going to spend

我又回答了几个类似的问题。 然后我把纸翻过来做数学题。 第一个是：一双新鞋花费0。 玛丽花00美元能买多少双鞋？ 简单!我写道：没有。鞋子是脚的监狱。 我接着问下一个问题：玩你最喜欢的电子游戏需要25分钟。 你在2小时内可以玩多少款游戏？ 简单!我写道：没有。从现在开始，我要花钱，而不是玩电子游戏