6. Total Relaxation

6 Total Relaxation It was our last day before the F.A.R.T. While we were putting our backpacks into our cubbies, I told Ryan that Ms. Jo-Jo must be super relaxed all the time. She probably never gets stressed out. "She's cool as a cucumber," said Ryan.

HUH? What did cucumbers have to do with anything? "Namaste," Ms. Jo-Jo said as she came into the class. "Namaste," we replied. Ms. Jo-Jo was carrying a bowl in her arms. I thought we might be doing more singing bowl therapy, but there were pink blocks in the bowl and an electrical cord hanging out of the bottom. "What's that?" asked Emily. "It's a crystal salt lamp," Ms. Jo-Jo replied. She told us the crystal salt chunks were millions of years old and they came from Pakistan. She plugged the cord into the electrical outlet on the wall. The bowl gave off a warm, pink glow. "I am grooving on it," said Ryan, nodding his head.

"Yeah, man," said Michael. "The crystal salt lamp produces ions that change the electrical charge of the air," Ms. Jo-Jo explained. "This will boost your mood and balance your aura." I had no idea what she was talking about. "Now I have a special surprise," she told us. She went out in the hallway and came back with this thing that looked like a pyramid. "What's that?" we all asked. "In ancient Egypt," said Ms. Jo-Jo, "they believed that pyramids had a mysterious secret energy. They line up with the earth's magnetic field." The pyramid was actually a bunch of pyramids that fit inside each other, like a stack of ice cream cones. Ms. Jo-Jo gave each of us a pyramid.

"What are we supposed to do with it?" Andrea asked. "You put it on your head, of course," replied Ms. Jo-Jo. We put the pyramids on our heads. "Good," said Ms. Jo-Jo. "Now repeat after me." "After me... After me... After me..." we repeated.

"The mind is infinite," she said. "After me... After me... After me..." "Turn off your mind, relax, and float downstream," she said. "After me.... After me... After me..." "Love is love."* "After me... After me... After me...." "Feel your cosmic energy." "After me... After me.... After me..." "Now, slowly bring yourself back to your awareness." "After me... After me... After me..." "Did you feel your heart rate slow down?" asked Ms. Jo-Jo. "My heart slowed down so much that

it almost stopped beating," said Neil. "Good," said Ms. Jo-Jo. "Now I'm going to blow the ceremonial conch trumpet to help you return to reality." She started blowing some weird trumpet thing. And you'll never believe who walked into the door at that moment. Nobody! Walking into a door would hurt. I thought we went over that in chapter two. But you'll never believe who walked into the doorway. It was Dr. Brad and Mr. Klutz!