4. Toga Party!

4 Toga Party! Ms. Jo-Jo's zenergizing was so successful that Mr. Klutz hired her to come back and help us every day leading up to the big F.A.R.T. It was in three days. "Namaste," Ms. Jo-Jo said as she came into the class and bowed to us. "Namaste," we all replied.

"What are we going to do today, Ms. Jo-Jo?" asked Neil. "Are we going to get zenergized again?" asked Alexia. "No, today we're going to do yoga," replied Ms. Jo-Jo. I never did yoga before, so I decided that it's dumb. Anything you never did before is dumb. That's the first rule of being a kid. "Ooooh, I love yoga!" shouted Andrea, who loves everything grown-ups love. "I signed up to take a yoga class after school." Andrea takes classes in everything after school. If they gave classes in blowing your nose, she would take that class so she could get better at it. "I love yoga too!" shouted Emily, who loves everything Andrea loves.

"My mom takes a class in goat yoga," said Ryan. "They do yoga exercises while goats climb all over them." Everybody laughed, because we were picturing people doing yoga while goats were climbing all over them. "That's ridiculous!" said Ms. Jo-Jo. "I would never do anything that silly." "So what kind of yoga are we going to do?" Andrea asked. "Turtle yoga," replied Ms. Jo-Jo. "I call it... Toga." She went out in the hall and came back wheeling a bunch of yoga mats and a big aquarium filled with turtles. "Where do you think Ms. Jo-Jo got all those turtles?" Ryan whispered to me. "From Rent-a-Turtle," I whispered back. "You can rent anything." "These are my emotional-support

turtles," said Ms. Jo-Jo. "They help me relax." "They're adorable!" said Emily, who thinks all animals are adorable. "Lie down on these shoes and take off your yoga mats," said Ms. Jo-Jo. "I mean, take off your shoes and lie down on these yoga mats." Ms. Jo-Jo got on the floor and showed us something called the cow pose. It's a pose that makes you look like a cow, so it has the perfect name. While we all did the cow pose, she put a turtle on each of our backs. It was weird feeling, but cool too. "Turn off your eyes and close your brain," said Ms. Jo-Jo. "I mean, turn off your brain and close your eyes. Are you feeling your inner turtle?" "I am!" said Andrea. "Turtles are ticklish!" said Alexia.

"My turtle is walking on my back!" said Michael. "Turtle yoga is fun!" said Ryan. "Imagine that you're playing fetch with your turtle," said Ms. Jo-Jo. It's really hard to play fetch with a turtle. You throw a stick or something and the turtle doesn't come back with it for, like, an hour.

Doing yoga with turtles was ridorkulous, but fun. Ms. Jo-Jo taught us