1. The FAR Test

1 The FAR Test My name is A.J. and I know what you're thinking. You're thinking I should watch my mouth. "Watch your mouth, A.J.," my teacher Mr. Cooper is always telling me. I don't get it. Grown-ups are always telling me to watch my mouth. How can I

我的名字是A.J. 我知道你在想什么 你觉得我应该说话客气点。 “说话客气点，aj，”我的老师库珀先生总是对我说。 我不明白。大人们总是告诉我要注意自己的嘴。 我怎么能

watch my mouth? It's right under my eyes. I can't watch it. I can't watch my ears, either, because they're over on the sides of my head. I tried to watch them, but they were too far away. I could watch my nose, but then I'd be cross-eyed. So basically, I can't watch any of the stuff on my face, unless I look in a mirror. The point is, I was at Ella Mentry School last week when the whole third grade got called down to the all-porpoise room. I don't know why they call it the all-porpoise room. There are no dolphins in there. So we lined up and walked a million hundred miles. When we finally got to the all-porpoise room, you'll never believe who was up on the stage.

说话客气点？就在我的眼皮底下。 我看不下去。我也看不见我的耳朵，因为它们长在我头的两侧。 我想看着他们，但他们离我太远了。 我可以看着我的鼻子，但那样我就会斜眼了。 所以基本上，我看不到我脸上的任何东西，除非我照镜子。 重点是，上周我在艾拉门特瑞学校看到整个三年级的学生被叫到海豚教室。 我不知道他们为什么叫它海豚室。 那里没有海豚。 所以我们排着队，走了上百万英里。 当我们终于来到全是海豚的房间时，你绝对不会相信谁站在舞台上。

It was Dr. Carbles, the president of the Board of Education!*

是卡伯斯博士，教育委员会主席！＊

He's a mean man who drives a tank to school. What is his problem? Dr. Carbles was standing next to our principal, Mr. Klutz, who has no hair at all. He used to have hair, but it fell out a long time ago. Nobody knows why. "Ten... hut!" shouted Dr. Carbles. Why was he counting huts? There weren't any huts in the all-porpoise room. What do huts have to do with anything? But everybody stood at attention, as if we were soldiers. "I have an announcement to make," Dr. Carbles shouted. "I called you in here to tell you blah blah blah blah one week from today all the students at Ella Mentry School will be taking a standardized test blah blah blah blah. You third graders will take the Fundamental Arithmetic/Reading Test."

他是个开着坦克去学校的卑鄙小人。 他有什么问题？卡伯斯博士站在我们的校长克鲁茨先生旁边，克鲁茨先生根本没有头发。 他以前是有头发的，但很久以前就掉了。 没人知道为什么。“十…嘘！” Carbles。他为什么要数小屋？ 全是海豚的房间里没有小屋。 小屋和这事有什么关系？ 但是每个人都立正站着，好像我们是士兵一样。 “我要宣布一件事。” Carbles喊道。“我叫你来是想告诉你一些诸如此类的事情。从今天起一个星期以后，艾拉门特里学校的所有学生都要参加标准化考试，诸如此类的事情。” 你们三年级的学生要参加基础算术/阅读测试。”

Ugh, I hate standardized tests. A big groan spread across the all-porpoise room. Dr. Carbles held up a sign that said

我讨厌标准化考试。 一声巨大的呻吟传遍了全是海豚的房间。 卡伯斯博士举着一个牌子，上面写着