7. Feeling the Buns

7 Feeling the Buns Practice makes perfect. That's what Mrs. Bacon tells us. When I got home from school, I could have practiced playing my tuba, but I decided to play video games instead. Then I was going to practice my tuba after dinner, but there was a

熟能生巧。 这是培根太太告诉我们的。 当我从学校回到家时，我本可以练习吹大号，但我决定玩电子游戏。 然后我打算晚饭后练习大号，但是有

game on TV, so I watched it. Then I was going to practice my tuba after the game was over, but I had to clean my room because my mom told me to do that about a year ago. Then I was going to practice my tuba after I cleaned my room, but it was almost bedtime, so it was too late to practice my tuba. All week long, I had a lot of important stuff to do that made it impossible to practice my tuba. I had to make my bed. I had to floss my teeth. I had to line up my collection of Pez dispensers in size order. You know, important stuff. When I got to school the next Thursday, there were sixteen geese out in the playground. Sixteen! I counted them. They were multiplying. I didn't even know geese could do math!

电视上有比赛，所以我看了。 比赛结束后，我要练习我的大号，但我必须打扫我的房间，因为我妈妈一年前告诉我要这样做。 然后我打算在打扫完房间后练习我的大号，但是快到睡觉时间了，所以练习大号已经太晚了。 整整一个星期，我有很多重要的事情要做，这使得我无法练习我的大号。 我得整理床铺。我不得不用牙线剔牙。 我得把我收集的Pez糖果盒按大小排列好。 你知道，重要的事情。 下个星期四我到学校时，操场上有16只鹅。 十六岁!我数了数。他们在倍增。 我甚至不知道鹅会做数学！

That's a joke. But seriously, not only were the geese multiplying, they were also dropping their goose poop all over the playground. It was gross. After we pledged the allegiance, we went to room 303. "Have you kids been practicing?" Mrs. Bacon asked as we walked in. "I forgot," said Michael. "I forgot," said Alexia. "I forgot," said Ryan. "I forgot," said Neil. "I forgot," said Emily.

开个玩笑。但说真的，不仅鹅的数量在增加，它们的鹅屎也在操场上到处都是。 太恶心了。宣誓效忠后，我们去了303房间。 “你们一直在练习吗？”我们走进来的时候，培根太太问。 “我忘了，”迈克尔说。“我忘了。”阿列克谢说。 “我忘了，”瑞恩说。“我忘了，”尼尔说。 “我忘了，”爱米丽说。

Mrs. Bacon didn't look happy. "I've been practicing!" shouted Andrea. Ugh. "Okay," Mrs. Bacon said, "let's try 'Hot Cross Buns.'" I sat between Ryan and Little Miss Perfect. Mrs. Bacon waved her chopstick around and we played "Hot Cross Buns." It sounded horrible.

培根夫人看起来不高兴。 “我一直在练习！”安德烈喊道。 啊。“好吧，”培根太太说，“我们试试‘热十字面包’吧。”我坐在瑞恩和完美小小姐之间。 培根夫人挥舞着她的筷子，我们玩起了“热十字面包”。 听起来很可怕。

"No!" shouted Mrs. Bacon. "You're not feeling the buns!" After we finished the song, Andrea leaned over to me. "Hey, Arlo," she whispered. "Can you play solo?" "Sure," I said. "Then why don't you play so low we can't hear you?" "Oh, snap!" said Ryan. Playing tuba is hard. You've got to push those buttons and blow into the mouthpiece and hold the big tuba up all at the same time. But Mrs. Bacon said I was making progress, and she gave me my yellow belt. Of course, Little Miss Know-It-All had already earned her yellow, orange, green, and blue belts. Why can't a truck full of hot cross buns fall on her head?

“不！”培根太太喊道。“你没摸到屁股！”我们唱完歌后，安德里亚向我俯下身来。 “嘿，阿乐。”她低声说。 “你会独奏吗？”“当然，”我说。 “那你为什么不把声音拉得小一点，我们听不见？”“哦，糟了！”瑞恩说。 吹大号很难。你必须按下那些按钮，对着吹嘴吹气，同时举起大号。 但培根夫人说我在进步，于是她给了我黄腰带。 当然，万事通小姐已经获得了黄带、橙带、绿带和蓝带。 为什么一卡车热十字面包不能砸在她头上？

After we played the song a few more times, Mrs. Bacon taught us a song with four notes—"Mary Had a Little Lamb." That's a weird song. It's about a lamb that follows a girl to school. Why would a lamb go to school? If I was a lamb, I would just stand around eating grass all day. School is the last place I'd go. Besides, how would a barnyard animal get through school security? At my school, visitors can't come in unless they show their ID to Officer Spence, our security guard. If a lamb ever snuck into our school, there would be a lockdown, and Officer Spence would probably shoot it with a tranquilizer dart. Anyway, after we learned "Mary Had a Little Lamb," Mrs. Bacon taught us some other songs that don't have

我们又弹了几遍这首歌之后，培根太太教我们唱了一首有四个音符的歌——《玛丽有只小羊羔》。 这首歌真怪。讲的是一只小羊跟着一个女孩去上学。 羊羔为什么要去上学？ 如果我是一只小羊羔，我会整天站在那里吃草。 学校是我最不愿意去的地方。 再说，畜棚里的动物怎么能通过学校的保安呢？ 在我的学校，访客除非向我们的保安斯宾塞警官出示身份证，否则不能进来。 如果有羔羊溜进我们学校，我们就会封锁，斯宾塞警官可能会用麻醉枪打死它。 不管怎样，在我们学了“玛丽有一只小羊羔”之后，培根太太教了我们一些其他没有的歌曲