5. The Greatest Song in the World

5 The Greatest Song in the World The next Thursday I got to school early, so I went around to the playground to look at the geese. And you'll never believe what I saw out there. More geese! There were eight of them. It was creepy. Where were all these geese coming from? Canada, I

guess. The bell rang, and I went inside the school. That's when the weirdest thing in the history of the world happened. All the grown-ups were wearing earmuffs! Mrs. Roopy, our librarian, was wearing earmuffs. Mr. Docker, our science teacher, was wearing earmuffs.

Mrs. Cooney, our nurse, was wearing earmuffs. "Why are you wearing earmuffs?" I asked Mrs. Cooney. "Uh, I'm chilly," she replied. When I got to class, an announcement came over the loudspeaker: "THIRD GRADERS CAN PICK UP THEIR INSTRUMENTS TODAY IN THE BAND ROOM. AND TEACHERS WHO WOULD LIKE TO PURCHASE NOISE-CANCELING HEADPHONES CAN GET THEM IN THE FRONT OFFICE." After we pledged the allegiance, we went to room 303. Our instruments were lined up waiting for us. Ryan got his French horn. Michael got his trumpet. Andrea got her clarinet. Emily

got her flute. Alexia got her trombone. Neil got his drum. I got my tuba. It was cool.* "Are we going to learn more about reading music today?" asked Andrea. "No," said Mrs. Bacon. "I think reading music is a little bit advanced for some students. Our first recital is in three weeks. So I've decided to teach you how to play by ear." WHAT?! How was I supposed to play a tuba with my ears? "Can't I use my mouth instead?" I asked.

Everybody laughed even though I didn't say anything funny. Mrs. Bacon told us to take the mouthpiece off our instrument so we could learn how to blow into it the right way. She showed each of us how to do it. "Now blow," she said. We blew into our mouthpieces. It was an awful sound. "Cheeks and leaks make squeaks," said Mrs. Bacon. "Try again." It was still pretty horrible, but a little better. We did it a few more times. After we started getting the hang of it, Mrs. Bacon said it was time to try our first song. We put the mouthpieces back on our instruments. "This is one of my favorites," Mrs. Bacon said, getting some paper out of

her desk. "It's called 'Hot Cross Buns.' I'm going to pass out—" "She's gonna pass out!" shouted Ryan. "Call an ambulance!" I shouted. "I'm going to pass out a piece of paper to each of you," said Mrs. Bacon. Oh. The paper had the words to "Hot Cross Buns" on it. It goes like this... Hot cross buns! Hot cross buns! One a penny, two a penny, Hot cross buns! What a ridorkulous song. Why would anybody make a song about buns? And you're not going to make much money if you sell buns for a