10. One-Woman Band

10 One-Woman Band What did straws have to do with anything? And why are grown-ups always running out of them? Can't they just buy a new box of straws before the old box is empty? It was really sad that Mrs. Bacon got fired. It made for a sad ending to this

story. But hey, who decided that stories have to have a happy ending, anyway? Actually, the next day the weirdest thing in the history of the world happened. The guys and I were going to get ice-cream cones after school when we saw Mrs. Bacon standing on the corner all by herself. She had a drum strapped to her back, a trumpet and a kazoo in front of her face, a cymbal on her head, a tambourine on her knee, and a violin in her hands. Oh, and she had the biggest smile on her face. And you'll never believe what song she was playing.

"Hot Cross Buns"!* Well, that's pretty much what happened. Maybe Mrs. Bacon will get her job back. Maybe I'll earn my black belt. Maybe they'll have music on Uranus. Maybe I'll play the tuba with my ears. Maybe musicians will stop

emptying their spit valves all over the floor. Maybe Officer Spence will shoot that lamb with a tranquilizer dart. Maybe Mrs. Bacon will go get Chinese food. Maybe I can talk somebody into putting ridorkulous in the dictionary. But it won't be easy!