1. Ridorkulous!

1 Ridorkulous! My name is A.J. and I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that "ridorkulous" isn't a word. Well, that's where you're wrong! Ridorkulous is something that's ridiculous and makes you look like a dork. I ought to know ridorkulous is a

1 Ridorkulous !我叫A.J. 我知道你在想什么 你认为“荒谬”不是一个词。 那你就错了！Ridorkulous是指一些荒谬的事情，让你看起来像个笨蛋。 我应该知道荒谬是一个

word because I invented it! Something totally ridorkulous happened at Ella Mentry School recently. We had just finished pledging the allegiance in Mr. Cooper's class. "Turn to page twenty-three in your math books," he said. Ugh, I hate math. That's when the weirdest thing in the history of the world happened. Our principal, Mr. Klutz, ran into the room. He has no hair at all. When Mr. Klutz gets mad, he can't tear his hair out because he doesn't have any. He was out of breath and panting. That means he was wearing pants. Mr. Klutz was also wearing binoculars around his neck. "Follow me!" he shouted. Then he ran out the door.

这个词是我发明的！最近在艾拉门特里学校发生了一件非常荒谬的事情。 我们刚刚在库珀先生的课上宣誓效忠。 “把你们的数学课本翻到第二十三页，”他说。 我讨厌数学。就在那时，世界历史上最奇怪的事情发生了。 我们的校长，克鲁茨先生，跑进了房间。 他根本没有头发。当克鲁茨先生生气的时候，他不能扯掉自己的头发，因为他根本没有头发。 他上气不接下气，气喘吁吁。 也就是说他当时穿着裤子。 克鲁兹脖子上还戴着望远镜。 “跟我来！”然后他跑出了门。

"Not again," muttered Mr. Cooper. We all ran after Mr. Klutz. "Maybe it's a fire drill," said Andrea, this annoying girl with curly brown hair. "Maybe it's a lockdown," said Michael, who never ties his shoes. "Maybe the aliens have landed," said Ryan, who will eat anything, even stuff that isn't food. "It must be important if we have to evacuate," said Alexia, this girl who rides a skateboard all the time.

“又来了，”库珀先生嘟囔着。 我们都追着克鲁茨先生跑。 “也许这是一次消防演习，”安德里亚说，这个烦人的棕色卷发女孩。 “也许是封锁了，”从不系鞋带的迈克尔说。 “也许外星人已经着陆了，”瑞恩说，他什么都吃，甚至不是食物的东西。 “如果我们必须撤离，这一定很重要，”一直玩滑板的女孩亚历克西亚（Alexia）说。

"Evacuate?" I said. "I just went to the bathroom."

“撤离?”我说。“我只是去了趟洗手间。”

"Evacuate means to leave, dumbhead," Andrea told me. I was going to say something mean to Andrea, but I couldn't think of anything. I didn't really care why we had to leave the building. As long as we were getting out of math. Mr. Klutz led us to the playground. "Look!" he shouted, pointing at the monkey bars. And you'll never believe what we saw out there. A goose. There were two of them, actually. Two gooses. I mean geese. For more than one goose, you're supposed to say geese. Nobody knows why. A female goose is called a goose, but a male goose is called a gander, which makes no sense at all. I know stuff like that

“疏散就是离开，笨蛋，”安德里亚告诉我。 我本想对安德里亚说些刻薄的话，但我想不出什么来。 我真的不在乎我们为什么要离开这栋楼。 只要我们不学数学就行。 克鲁茨先生把我们带到操场。 “看！”他指着单杠喊道。 你绝对不会相信我们在那里看到了什么。 一只鹅。实际上有两个人。 两个鹅。我是说鹅。如果不止一只鹅，你应该说鹅。 没人知道为什么。母鹅叫goose，而公鹅叫gander，这完全没有意义。 我知道这种事