3. Because I Said So

3 Because I Said So That night, my parents called me over to the kitchen table for a big meeting. My dad had a pen and one of those yellow legal pads* in front of him. "We need to make the invitation list for your birthday party, A.J.," said my mom. "Let's start with Grandma and

Grandpa..." "And Aunt Lucy and Uncle Jerry, of course," my dad said as he wrote their names on his yellow legal pad. I guess you have to invite your relatives to your party. I mean, if it wasn't for your grandparents, your parents wouldn't have been born. And if it wasn't for your parents, you wouldn't have been born. And if you're not born, you don't even get a birthday party. That's why it's called a birthday. "Which of the kids at school do you want to invite?" asked my mom. "Ryan, Michael, and Neil are my best friends," I said. "You can't just have boys at your birthday party, A.J.," my mom told me. "Why not?" I asked. "Because I said so," replied both of

my parents. Only parents can get away with saying "because I said so." I can't wait until I'm a parent so I can tell my kids "because I said so" and not give them any reason why. "Okay," I said. "I'll invite Alexia too. She's a girl, and she's cool." Dad wrote ALEXIA JUAREZ on his yellow legal pad. "What about Andrea Young?" asked my mom. Ugh! Gross. I didn't want to invite Smarty Pants, Little Miss Perfect, the Human Homework Machine to my birthday party. That try-hard, know-it-all Andrea would ruin all the fun. "A.J., we have to invite Andrea," said my mom.

"Why?" "Because she invited you to her birthday party last year," Mom replied. "So you have to invite her to yours. That's only fair." "No, it's not!" I shouted. "If she invited me to her funeral, would that mean I would have to invite her to my funeral?" "People don't invite each other to their own funerals," my dad told me. "See? That's exactly what I mean!" I said. "If Andrea's mother finds out we had a birthday party and didn't invite Andrea, she'd be very upset," my mom explained. "She and I play tennis together every week." I didn't see what tennis had to do with my birthday party. That didn't

make any sense. I looked at my dad with my best puppy-dog face. If I could get him on my side, it would be possible for me to win the argument. Divide and conquer. That's the first rule of winning an argument with your parents. And always put on your best puppy-dog face.

"A.J., we have to invite Andrea," said my dad. Oh, well. So much for that idea. Dad wrote ANDREA YOUNG on his yellow legal pad. "If we invite Andrea," said my mom, "we have to invite Emily."