2. Talk to the Hand

2 Talk to the Hand The next day was Saturday, so I got to sleep late. Yay! No school! When I woke up and opened my window shades, I saw a blue minivan pull up in front of our house. On the side, it said...

Mr. Marty We Won't Be Tardy To Your Party! It's Your Party So Eat Hearty! That was weird. "My old friend Marty is here!" Mom hollered. "I haven't seen him since college." I came downstairs, and you'll never believe who walked through the door at that moment. Nobody! You can't walk through a door. Doors are made out of wood. But you'll never believe who walked through the doorway. It was Mr. Marty, of course. You

should have been able to guess that. Who else could it have been? Mr. Marty looked pretty normal. Well, he did have a sock puppet on one hand. The puppet looked like a miniature version of Mr. Marty. But other than that, Mr. Marty seemed pretty normal. He stuck his puppet in my face. "You must be the birthday boy!" the puppet said in a weird, high voice. "Is your name A.J.?"

My parents always tell me not to talk to strangers, especially strangers who have a puppet on their hand. But I figured it would be okay because Mr. Marty was my mom's old friend. "Why are you wearing a sock on your hand?" I asked Mr. Marty. "Just ignore that big guy behind me," said Mr. Marty's sock puppet. "Talk to the hand. My name is Mini-Marty, and I

love a party!" Mini-Marty?* People who walk around with sock puppets of themselves are weird. "I bet you're excited about your birthday coming up," said Mini-Marty. "Yeah, I guess," I replied unexcitedly. "I know what it's like," Mini-Marty said. "I was a boy once." "Just once?" I replied. "I'm a boy all the time." "Hey, that's a good one!" said Mini- Marty. Then the puppet let out a weird laugh even though I didn't say anything funny. My mom came over to give Mr. Marty a hug. She pretended like it wasn't weird for Mr. Marty to walk around with a sock puppet of himself on his hand. She also gave him a cup of

coffee, which is what grown-ups do. Anytime grown-ups come over to your house, they have to drink coffee together. That's the first rule of being a grown-up. Mr. Marty drank the coffee using his non-puppet hand. Mini-Marty didn't drink any coffee. I wondered if Mr. Marty ever took Mini-Marty off his hand. I mean, it would be hard to take a shower with a puppet on your hand. How would you soap yourself up? "This is going to be your birthday party, A.J.," said Mini-Marty, "so you should make the important decisions. What kind of party do you want to have?" "How about a skateboarding party?" I suggested.