7. The Middle of Nowhere

7 The Middle of Nowhere It rained all week. I thought our overnight might be canceled. But on Friday my parents got a call saying it was on. They drove me to the parking lot, where all the kids were waiting on the bus. "Can I come on the bus to take a few

pictures?" my mom asked. "No parents allowed!" Miss Blake barked. "Say good-bye!" My mom said good-bye, and I climbed on the bus. I sat next to Ryan. We had already decided that we were going to share a tent together. Miss Blake stood up in the front of the bus as we pulled out of the parking lot. "This is going to be fun," she barked. "Anybody who doesn't have fun will be punished." We drove a million hundred miles to some forest. Finally, the bus pulled off to the side of the road, and we got out. There was a sign that warned about forest fires, poison ivy, flash floods, dehydration, and other scary stuff that can happen to you in the wilderness. "Are we going to go spelunking?"

asked Alexia. "No! We hike!" barked Miss Blake as she grabbed a big backpack and a pair of binoculars. "I love hiking and nature!" said Andrea. Ugh. Hiking and nature are boring. "Keep an eye out for bears or other wild animals," said Miss Blake. "I'm scared," said Emily. It would have been cool to see a bear or some other wild animal. But there weren't any animals. There were just lots of trees and rocks and birds. So Miss Blake talked about every tree, rock, and bird along the way. What a snoozefest. "Look!" Miss Blake shouted, peering through her binoculars. "A red-billed nuthatch!" A bird is a bird, if you ask me.

You've seen one bird, you've seen 'em all. "I hope we see a snake," said Michael. "Snakes are cool." "What would you do if you saw a snake?" Ryan asked. "I'd punch its face in," I said. After five minutes of hiking, I was bored. Nature is way overrated. We were in the middle of nowhere.* "This looks like the place where we started," said Neil. "That's because we hiked a big loop," barked Miss Blake. What? So we walked a million hundred miles in a circle? What was the point of that? If you're going to hike, you should hike someplace different. "This looks like a good spot to set up camp," said Miss Blake. "Let's pitch our

tents here." Why would you want to throw a tent? That made no sense at all. "Where do you think Miss Blake got these tents?" Ryan asked. "From Rent-A-Tent," I told him. "You can rent anything." Ryan and I put up our tent together, while Miss Blake tied a string across two long sticks and stuck the sticks into the ground. Then she told us to gather up some wood. "Are we going to build a fire?" asked Andrea. "No, we're going to build two fires,"

said Miss Blake. She tied another string across two sticks and stuck them into the dirt next to the first ones. "One for the boys and one for the girls. Who can tell me what you need to start a fire?" "Lighter fluid!" I shouted. "No!" said Miss Blake. "Lighter fluid is for wimps." "Fuel, air, and heat!" shouted Andrea, who remembers everything she ever heard, saw, or read. "That's right!" said Miss Blake. "You have air all around, of course. I'll give the boys' team and the girls' team three napkins. That's your fuel. You get one match to provide heat. Each team will build their fire under a rope. The first team to break their rope with the flame is the winner." Yes! Boys against girls. Beating