6. Mr. Dummy

6 Mr. Dummy Beaver scouting was no fun. While we were waiting for Miss Blake to show up for our next meeting, we were all grumbling. "I thought we were going to decorate pumpkins and make Popsicle-stick snowman ornaments," said Alexia.

"I thought we were going to build race cars out of wood," said Michael. "I thought we were going to go spelunking," said Ryan. "I'm thinking of quitting Beaver Scouts," I told the gang. "Me too," everybody agreed. We all stopped talking when Miss Blake arrived. "I heard what you kids said about quitting," she barked. "Do you know what they call people who quit?" "No, what?" we all asked. "Quitters!" barked Miss Blake. Well, that made sense. "So you're not having fun, eh?" Miss Blake barked. "You want fun? Next week we're going on an overnight in the woods. It will be more fun than you've ever had in your life."

"Yay!" we all shouted. "But you never know what might happen out in the woods," barked Miss Blake. "You've got to be ready for anything. I hope you studied the part about first aid in the Beaver Scout Handbook." "I did!" shouted the Human Homework Machine. "I also took a lifesaving class after school. When I get older, I'm going to get a job as a lifeguard." Andrea takes classes in everything after school. If they gave a class in brushing your teeth, she would take that class so she could get better at it. "Good job, Andrea!" barked Miss Blake. "Life throws stuff at you when you least expect it. You've got to be prepared at all times. Let's say you're in

the wilderness. Somebody faints and stops breathing. What do you do? It's an emergency!" "You should break some glass," I said right away. "Why would you do that?" asked Miss Blake. "My family was at a hotel once," I replied. "There was a sign that said you should break glass in case of emergency." Miss Blake slapped her own forehead. "If somebody can't breathe, you should call 9-1-1," said Neil. "You're in the wilderness!" barked Miss Blake. "There's no time to call 9-11, and you probably don't have cell phone service anyway. The correct answer is that you should give that person mouth-to-mouth resuscitation."

Oh no, not that. I've seen mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. It looks a lot like kissing. Miss Blake went to the closet and dragged out a big mannequin. It was the size of a grown-up man. "This is Mr. Dummy," she barked. "He's not breathing." "We've got to do something!" shouted Emily, as if Mr. Dummy was a real person. "I'll show you what to do," barked Miss Blake. She got down on her hands and knees, tilted Mr. Dummy's head back, pinched his nostrils shut, and started blowing air into his mouth. Gross. I don't know about you, but I say kissing a dummy is weird. Kissing anything is weird. But kissing a dummy is especially weird.

"That looks hard," said Alexia. "I don't know if I could do that in an emergency." "Hey, if you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen," barked Miss Blake. Huh? We weren't in a kitchen. What did kitchens have to do with anything?* "I saved Mr. Dummy's life," barked Miss Blake. "He's breathing again." "Yay!" everybody shouted, even