5. Plaque Attack!

5 Plaque Attack! I thought we might get in trouble for pulling out Emily's tooth. But when we went back to Mr. Cooper's class after recess, nobody said a word. Emily and Andrea were just sitting there with their hands folded, like always. "Okay, we wasted the whole morning, so now it's time to get to work," said Mr. Cooper. "Turn to page twenty-three in your

math books." That's when the weirdest thing in the history of the world happened. Dr. Floss came running into the room. She wasn't wearing her dentist uniform anymore. She was dressed up in some weird superhero costume with a big letter P on the front. And she had a dog with her. "It is I," she announced, "the evil supervillain Captain Plaque! And this is my dog, Tartar!" The dog barked. "Cool!" we all shouted. Mr. Cooper rubbed his forehead with his fingers and closed his math book. "Bwaaa-ha-ha!" shouted Dr. Floss in an evil supervillain voice. "Plaque has bacteria that grows when your food mixes with saliva in your mouth. It leads to cavities, and I love cavities. Isn't that right, Tartar?" The dog barked again.

Tartar? Isn't that the stuff you put on fish sticks? I was going to say that, but then something even weirder happened. Another superhero came running into the room! She was wearing a mask and she had a big letter F on the front of her uniform. Oh, and she was carrying a giant inflatable toothbrush. "Oh no!" shouted Captain Plaque. "My archenemy is here!" "Is it the Flash?" asked Ryan. "No," said Captain Plaque. "Is it one of the Fantastic Four?" asked Alexia. "No," said Captain Plaque. "It is I," announced the superhero with the F on her uniform. "Fluoride! I fight a constant battle for good dental hygiene."

"Fluoride?" we all asked. "Who can tell me what fluoride is?" asked Fluoride. "Disney World is in Fluoride," I said. "That's Florida, you dumbhead!" said Andrea. "Fluoride is a mineral that helps strengthen your teeth. It's in toothpaste." "That's right!" said Fluoride. Why can't a truck full of fluoride fall on Andrea's head?

If you ask me, that Fluoride lady sounded a lot like our librarian, Mrs. Roopy. She's always dressing up in weird costumes. "Are you Mrs. Roopy in disguise?" asked. "Roopy?" said Fluoride. "Never heard of her. I'm Fluoride, nature's cavity fighter. Plaque is bad for you, and tartar is hard plaque that can grow on your teeth. It comes from the things you eat and drink. That's why it's so important to have a healthy diet to prevent cavities." "Cavities are good things!" shouted Captain Plaque. "They give dentists lots of work so they can buy new cars. Isn't that right, Tartar?" The dog barked. "I thought tartar was that stuff you put on fish sticks," I said. "That's tartar sauce, dumbhead!" said Andrea.

Those things should really have different names. "Tartar and I are here to destroy your teeth," shouted Captain Plaque. "Not if I can help it!" shouted Fluoride. "Stand back, kids!" That's when the weirdest thing in the history of the world happened. Fluoride hit Captain Plaque over the head with her giant inflatable toothbrush! Then Captain Plaque karate-chopped Fluoride! "It's time for another plaque attack!" shouted Captain Plaque. "No!" shouted Fluoride. "Captain Plaque is wack!" Watching the two of them fight was cool. Meanwhile, Tartar just stood there, barking.