4. Our Genius Plan

4 Our Genius Plan After lunch in the vomitorium, we went out for recess. Michael's birthday was last week, and we were all playing with the yo-yos we got in our goody bags at the end of the party. Yo-yos are cool. Emily was looking worried, as usual. "I think my tooth is going to fall out soon," she said. "It's really loose."

What's up with baby teeth? Why do we have baby teeth if they're just going to fall out and get replaced by adult teeth? We should just start with adult teeth and get it over with, if you ask me. Having two sets of teeth makes no sense at all. What a waste of teeth. "Maybe we should tell Dr. Floss that your tooth is about to fall out," Andrea told Emily. "I'm scared," said Emily, who's scared of everything. "That's a terrible idea," I said. "Dr. Floss is weird. I don't even think she's a real dentist. A real dentist would never tell kids to eat junk food." "Maybe Dr. Floss kidnapped the real dentist who was supposed to visit our school," said Ryan. "Yeah," I said, "the real dentist is probably tied to some railroad tracks right

now, and a train is coming. Stuff like that happens all the time, you know." "Stop trying to scare Emily," said Andrea. "I'm scared," repeated Emily. "I'm afraid my tooth is going to fall out any minute. I can feel it with my tongue."

"I'm going to go get Dr. Floss," Andrea said, and then she went running into the school. "Do you think Dr. Floss is going to pull out my loose tooth?" Emily asked us. "Sure," I told her. "That's what dentists do. They love it when kids have loose teeth." "Your parents are going to have to pay Dr. Floss a lot of money to pull out that tooth," Neil told Emily. "How much do you think it will cost?" asked Emily. "I don't know," said Ryan. "How much does a car cost?" "About a million dollars," I guessed. I have no idea how much a car costs, but I know they cost a lot of money. "What a scam," said Alexia. "If you don't do anything, your loose tooth will just fall out on its own at some point." That's when I got a great idea.

"You don't need Dr. Floss, you know," I told Emily. "We can pull out that loose tooth for you." "You can?" "Sure," I said, unrolling my yo-yo. "Look. We can just put the loop at the end of this string around your loose tooth, give the yo-yo a good yank, and your tooth will pop right out." "Are you sure?" asked Emily. She looked nervous.

"Sure I'm sure," I said. "Easy peasy. And you won't have to pay Dr. Floss a dime." "What a great idea!" said Alexia. "A.J., you should get the Nobel Prize." That's a prize they give out to people who don't have bells.