2. Betsy Toothbrush

2 Betsy Toothbrush This lady walked into the nurse's office. She was wearing a white coat, the kind that doctors wear. There was a name tag on it that said "Dr. Betsy Floss." We gave her a round of applause by clapping our hands in circles, because that's what you're supposed to do whenever somebody is introduced. Nobody knows why.

"Happy National Dessert Day!" she said. "You all have such nice smiles. Look at all the things your teeth do for you. You see them when you smile. You use them to chew your food. They help you talk and sing, whisper, and whistle. It's nice to see your smiling faces this morning. My name is Betsy Floss."

"Didn't Betsy Floss make the first flag?" I whispered to Andrea. "That was Betsy Ross, dumbhead," she whispered back. I was going to say something mean to Andrea, but I didn't have the chance. "Is Betsy Floss your real name?" asked Ryan. "Well, I took my husband's name when I got married," Dr. Floss told us. "His last name is Floss." "What name were you born with?" asked Emily. "Betsy Toothbrush," replied Dr. Floss. "Wait," I said. "Your last name was Toothbrush and you married a guy named Floss?" "Yes." "Is your husband a dentist too?" asked Neil. "No, of course not," replied Dr. Floss.

"Why would you think that?" "It was just a guess," said Neil. Mrs. Cooney took a step forward. "Tell us a little about yourself, Dr. Floss," she said. "What made you decide to go into the field of dentistry?" "Well, let me think," said Dr. Floss. "I used to be in the army." "What did you do in the army?" asked Michael. "I was a drill sergeant," she replied, and then she started cracking up. "Get it? Drill sergeant? Ha-ha-ha. That's a little dentist joke." Everybody pretended to laugh even though she didn't say anything funny. When grown-ups tell jokes, you should always pretend to laugh. That's the first rule of being a kid. "When I got out of the army," continued Dr. Floss, "I decided to go to dental school.

I've been practicing dentistry for ten years." "Don't you get tired?" I asked. "Ha-ha-ha. I get it," said Dr. Floss. "Any other questions?" "What do you do when you're not being a dentist?" asked Neil. "Let me see," said Dr. Floss. "I like to work with my hands. I play guitar. I collect old tools. I walk my dog. And I like to do roadwork." "You work on the roads?" I asked. "I think roadwork means she goes jogging, Arlo," whispered Andrea, who calls me by my real name because she knows I don't like it. "Did you kids lose any of your baby teeth yet?" asked Dr. Floss. Most of us raised our hands. "I have a loose tooth right now," said Emily. "Oooh!" said Dr. Floss. "Maybe it will fall

out today, and if you're lucky the Tooth Fairy will come to school. She's a good friend of mine." "We invited Dr. Floss here today to talk about dental hygiene," said Mrs. Cooney. "Who can tell me what hygiene is?" "That's when you say hello to somebody named Jean," I said. Andrea rolled her eyes and shot her hand in the air. "Hygiene is all the things we do to stay healthy," she said. "That's right, Andrea," said Mrs. Cooney. Andrea smiled the smile she smiles to let everybody know she knows something nobody else knows. "Our students have been taught all about good hygiene, Dr. Floss," said Mrs. Cooney. "They know they should brush their teeth at least twice a day." "I brush my teeth seven times a day,"