1. National Dessert Day

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1 National Dessert Day My name is A.J. and I hate going to the dentist. Dentists are weird. Why would anybody want to be a dentist? Who wants to stick their hands in people's mouths all day long? That's just gross. I only mention this because the other day the weirdest thing in the history of the

world happened. It was October 14. We were in Mr. Cooper's class. We pledged the allegiance and did the Word of the Day, like we do every day. That's when the weirdness started. "Okay, let's get to work," said Mr. Cooper. "Turn to page twenty-three in your math books." Ugh. I hate math. But that's when a voice came over the loudspeaker. It was Mrs. Patty, the school secretary. "Attention, students in Mr. Cooper's class..." she announced. "Not again," muttered Mr. Cooper."... please report to Mrs. Cooney's office."

Mrs. Cooney is our school nurse. She has

blue eyes that look like cotton candy yogurt. The kind with no sprinkles. One time, she begged me to marry her, but I told her I couldn't because she was already married to some guy named Mr. Cooney. "Pringle up, everybody," said Mr. Cooper. We all lined up, like Pringles. Everybody was wondering why we were going to the nurse's office.

"Mrs. Cooney is probably going to check to see if we have head lice," said Andrea Young, this annoying girl with curly brown hair. "Headlights?" I said. "I don't have headlights." "Why would we bring headlights to school?" asked Ryan, who will eat anything, even stuff that isn't food. "I don't think headlights would fit in my backpack," said Michael, who never ties his shoes. "You could bring two backpacks," suggested Alexia, this girl who rides a skateboard all the time. "One for each headlight." "How would you get the headlights off a car?" asked Neil, who we call the nude kid even though he wears clothes. "Not headlights, you dumbheads!" shouted Andrea. "Head lice!"