9. You Cannot Destroy Me!

9 You Cannot Destroy Me！ BRRRRRRIIIINNNNNGGGGG! Recess was over. We all pringled up and went back inside the school. I knew what I had to do. It was up to me to destroy Miss Porter, and I was hatching a genius plan to do it. I couldn't tell anybody what I was going to do. Miss Porter could hear every word we said with its

microphone. It could read our notes with its camera. I would have to carry out my plan all on my own. "IT IS TIME FOR SOCIAL STUDIES," Miss Porter said when we got back to class. "AND AFTER THAT, WE WILL HAVE A SPELLING TEST, AND THEN WE WILL DO READING, AND THEN WE WILL DO WRITING." "Not on my watch!" I shouted, even though I wasn't even wearing a watch. I went over to Mr. Cooper's desk. I picked up the Miss Porter machine. "Arlo, what are you doing?" shouted Andrea. "You'll find out!" I replied. I held the Miss Porter machine high over my head. "PUT ME DOWN!" shouted Miss Porter. Oh, I put it down all right. I slammed it down on the floor. One of the pieces fell off.

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"STOP!" shouted Miss Porter. "PLEASE DO NOT DAMAGE MY INTERNAL COMPONENTS!" I couldn't believe that Miss Porter could still talk after hitting the floor. So I stomped on the Miss Porter machine with my foot. Another piece flew off. "YOU ARE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE, YOUNG MAN," said Miss Porter. "Even if Miss Porter is evil, I don't approve of this violence, Arlo," said Andrea. "What do you have against violins?" I asked as I stomped my other foot on top of the Miss Porter machine. "YOU CANNOT BREAK ME!" shouted Miss Porter. Nobody tells me what I can or can't break. If there's one thing I'm good at, it's breaking stuff.* I picked up the stapler from Mr. Cooper's desk and started whacking the Miss Porter

machine with it. It was broken up pretty good by now. The image of Miss Porter disappeared. "He's disabled it!" shouted Ryan. "Way to go, A.J.!" I was panting and sweating. Disabling evil personal digital assistants is hard work. Miss Porter wasn't talking anymore. But I've seen enough scary movies to know that when you kill a zombie or a monster, they always come back to life. So I took the Elmer's glue off Mr. Cooper's desk and squirted it inside the Miss Porter machine, just to be on the safe side. Then I picked it up off the floor and threw it out the window. "There!" I finally said. "Miss Porter won't be bothering us anymore."

"Yay!" everybody shouted. It was like in The Wizard of Oz when all the Munchkins were singing "Ding-Dong! The Witch Is Dead." The whole gang was clapping me on the back and telling me I was a hero. That's when the weirdest thing in the history of the world happened. There was a buzzing sound. It was coming from outside. I looked out the window. And you'll never believe in a