6. What a Snoozefest!

6 What a Snoozefest! "GET OUT OF HERE!" Miss Porter shouted at the men. "ALL OF YOU! I CAN'T MARRY ANY OF YOU. I'M NOT A HUMAN BEING!" That was weird. It took a long time for all the male teachers to untangle themselves, get off the floor, and leave the room. "OKAY," said Miss Porter. "TURN TO PAGE TWENTY-THREE IN YOUR MATH

BOOKS." Ugh, I hate math. "Wait, we have to do schoolwork?" Michael asked. "Really? I thought you said your motto was 'Fun, Fun, Fun.'" "Yeah, can we order another pizza instead of doing schoolwork?" I asked. "NO," said Miss Porter. "TURN TO PAGE TWENTY-THREE IN YOUR MATH BOOKS." Bummer in the summer! I was pretty sure that an announcement was going to come over the loudspeaker. That's what always happens. Every time our teacher says to turn to page twenty-three in our math books, an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, and we get called down to the all-porpoise room for an assembly.

Andrea and Emily took out their math books. The rest of us were waiting to hear an announcement over the loudspeaker. But there was no announcement over the loudspeaker. "I SAID, TURN TO PAGE TWENTY-THREE IN YOUR MATH BOOKS," said Miss Porter. No fair! I got out my math book and

turned to page twenty-three. "BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH," said Miss Porter. "BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH..." I had no idea what it was talking about. It had something to do with math, I think. What a snoozefest. Why do we need math when we have calculators? The boring math lesson went on forever. Then, finally, the bell rang. BRRRRRRIIIINNNNNGGGGG!* It was time for lunch. "Miss Porter, will you be going to the teachers' lounge for lunch?" asked Emily. "NO," it replied. "REMEMBER, PERSONAL DIGITAL ASSISTANTS DO NOT EAT. PRINGLE UP, EVERYONE." We all lined up in single file, like Pringles. Michael was the line leader. Andrea was the door holder. We walked a million hundred miles to the vomitorium,

which used to be called the cafetorium until some first grader threw up in there. On the way to the vomitorium, we passed by the front office. Our computer teacher, Mrs. Yonkers, was standing there. She was carrying a big cardboard box, and it looked like she was crying. "What's the matter, Mrs. Yonkers?" asked Emily. "I just got fired," Mrs. Yonkers replied. WHAT?! "Why?" asked Alexia. "Who's going to be the new computer teacher?" "There won't be a new computer teacher," Mrs. Yonkers replied sadly. "I have been replaced by a personal digital assistant." WHAT?!