10. The Big Surprise Ending

10 The Big Surprise Ending That was the worst afternoon of my life. We had to do social studies and spelling and reading and writing. The new Miss Porter was even worse than the first Miss Porter. And it was particularly hard on me because I tried to destroy it. I thought I was gonna die. When I woke up the next morning, I

really didn't want to go back to school. I didn't think I could take another day with Miss Porter. And even if I destroyed this Miss Porter, it would just be replaced by another Miss Porter. We couldn't win! I wanted to go run away to Antarctica and live with the penguins. Penguins don't have personal digital assistants. So I came up with another genius plan. This time, it was a plan to get out of going to school. I went to the medicine cabinet and took out the thermometer. Then I held it against the heat vent in my bedroom for five minutes.* "Mom," I shouted, "can I stay home from school today? I'm sick. I have a temperature." My mother looked at the thermometer. "Your temperature is a hundred and fifty-two degrees," she said. "See? I told you I was sick."

"Nobody has a temperature that high, A.J.," Mom told me. "You obviously held the thermometer against the heat vent. Get ready for school!" Bummer in the summer! I went to school. Everybody looked sad as we pledged the allegiance. We were going to be stuck with Miss Porter as our teacher for the rest of the week. Maybe it would be our teacher for the rest of our lives. Mr. Cooper would probably be fired when he got back. Who needs human teachers as long as there are personal digital assistants like Miss Porter? "LET'S GET TO WORK," said Miss Porter. "TURN TO PAGE TWENTY-THREE IN YOUR MATH BOOKS." Ugh. Not again. That's when the most amazing thing in the history of the world happened. Andrea raised her hand.

Well, that's not the amazing part. Andrea raises her hand all the time. The amazing part was what happened after that. "Miss Porter," Andrea said. "May I please go to the bathroom?" "CERTAINLY, ANDREA," said Miss Porter. That was weird. Andrea never has to go to the bathroom. I wasn't even sure if she ever needed to go to the bathroom. Andrea got up. As she walked past me, she dropped a tiny piece of folded-up paper on my desk. I opened it up. It said: MEET ME OUT IN THE HALLWAY. Hmmm. Something was up. I waited a minute. I didn't want Miss Porter to get suspicious.

"Miss Porter," I finally said, "may I please go to the bathroom?" "DO YOU REALLY NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM, A.J., OR ARE YOU JUST TRYING TO GET OUT OF CLASS?" "It's an emergency," I said. "GO AHEAD," Miss Porter said. "HURRY BACK."

I got up and went out into the hallway. Andrea was waiting for me there. "Andrea, what are you—" I didn't have the chance to finish my sentence. Andrea clapped her hand over my mouth. "Shhhhhhh!" she said, "Miss Porter will hear you. Quick, follow me!" Andrea rushed down the hallway. I was right behind her. "This isn't the way to the bathroom," I said. "I know," she replied. "We're not going to the bathroom." We turned the corner and walked down the hall until we came to the computer room. "Oh good, it's not locked," Andrea said as she pulled open the door. "What are we doing in here?" I asked. "I'm going to hack into Miss Porter's