10. The Big Surprise Ending

10 The Big Surprise Ending That was the worst afternoon of my life. We had to do social studies and spelling and reading and writing. The new Miss Porter was even worse than the first Miss Porter. And it was particularly hard on me because I tried to destroy it. I thought I was gonna die. When I woke up the next morning, I

那是我一生中最糟糕的一个下午。 我们必须做社会研究、拼写、阅读和写作。 新来的波特小姐比第一任波特小姐更糟。 这对我来说尤其困难，因为我试图毁掉它。 我以为我要死了。 当我第二天早上醒来时，我

really didn't want to go back to school. I didn't think I could take another day with Miss Porter. And even if I destroyed this Miss Porter, it would just be replaced by another Miss Porter. We couldn't win! I wanted to go run away to Antarctica and live with the penguins. Penguins don't have personal digital assistants. So I came up with another genius plan. This time, it was a plan to get out of going to school. I went to the medicine cabinet and took out the thermometer. Then I held it against the heat vent in my bedroom for five minutes.* "Mom," I shouted, "can I stay home from school today? I'm sick. I have a temperature." My mother looked at the thermometer. "Your temperature is a hundred and fifty-two degrees," she said. "See? I told you I was sick."

我真的不想回学校了。 我觉得我不能再和波特小姐在一起了。 即使我毁了这个波特小姐，它也会被另一个波特小姐取代。 我们赢不了！我想逃到南极洲，和企鹅住在一起。 企鹅没有个人数字助理。 所以我想出了另一个天才计划。 这一次，这是一个不去上学的计划。 我走到药柜前拿出体温计。 然后我把它贴在卧室的通风口上五分钟。“妈妈，”我喊道，“我今天能待在家里不上学吗？” 我病了。我发烧了。” 妈妈看了看温度计。 “你的体温是一百五十二度，”她说。 “看到了吗?我告诉过你我病了。”

"Nobody has a temperature that high, A.J.," Mom told me. "You obviously held the thermometer against the heat vent. Get ready for school!" Bummer in the summer! I went to school. Everybody looked sad as we pledged the allegiance. We were going to be stuck with Miss Porter as our teacher for the rest of the week. Maybe it would be our teacher for the rest of our lives. Mr. Cooper would probably be fired when he got back. Who needs human teachers as long as there are personal digital assistants like Miss Porter? "LET'S GET TO WORK," said Miss Porter. "TURN TO PAGE TWENTY-THREE IN YOUR MATH BOOKS." Ugh. Not again. That's when the most amazing thing in the history of the world happened. Andrea raised her hand.

“没有人的体温会那么高，aj，”妈妈告诉我。 “很明显，你把温度计靠在通风口上。 准备上学吧！”夏天的流浪者！我去上学了。 当我们宣誓效忠时，每个人都显得很悲伤。 这个星期剩下的时间里，我们的老师都是波特小姐。 也许它会成为我们余生的老师。 库珀先生回来后可能会被解雇。 只要有波特小姐这样的个人数字助理，谁还需要真人老师呢？ “我们开始工作吧，”波特小姐说。 “翻到数学课本的第二十三页。” 啊。又不是。就在那时，世界历史上最神奇的事情发生了。 安德烈举起了手。

Well, that's not the amazing part. Andrea raises her hand all the time. The amazing part was what happened after that. "Miss Porter," Andrea said. "May I please go to the bathroom?" "CERTAINLY, ANDREA," said Miss Porter. That was weird. Andrea never has to go to the bathroom. I wasn't even sure if she ever needed to go to the bathroom. Andrea got up. As she walked past me, she dropped a tiny piece of folded-up paper on my desk. I opened it up. It said: MEET ME OUT IN THE HALLWAY. Hmmm. Something was up. I waited a minute. I didn't want Miss Porter to get suspicious.

这还不是最神奇的地方。 安德里亚总是举手。 令人惊奇的是之后发生的事情。 “波特小姐，”安德烈说。 “我可以去洗手间吗？”“当然可以，安德烈，”波特小姐说。 这很奇怪。安德里亚从来不用上厕所。 我甚至不确定她是否需要上厕所。 安德烈站了起来。当她从我身边走过时，她把一小张折叠起来的纸丢在了我的桌子上。 我打开了它。上面写着：在走廊等我。 嗯。发生了什么事。我等了一会儿。 我不想让波特小姐起疑心。

"Miss Porter," I finally said, "may I please go to the bathroom?" "DO YOU REALLY NEED TO GO TO THE BATHROOM, A.J., OR ARE YOU JUST TRYING TO GET OUT OF CLASS?" "It's an emergency," I said. "GO AHEAD," Miss Porter said. "HURRY BACK."

“波特小姐，”我最后说，“我可以去洗手间吗？”“你真的要去洗手间吗，aj，还是你只是想不想去上课？”“这是紧急情况，”我说。 “说吧，”波特小姐说。 “快点回来。”

I got up and went out into the hallway. Andrea was waiting for me there. "Andrea, what are you—" I didn't have the chance to finish my sentence. Andrea clapped her hand over my mouth. "Shhhhhhh!" she said, "Miss Porter will hear you. Quick, follow me!" Andrea rushed down the hallway. I was right behind her. "This isn't the way to the bathroom," I said. "I know," she replied. "We're not going to the bathroom." We turned the corner and walked down the hall until we came to the computer room. "Oh good, it's not locked," Andrea said as she pulled open the door. "What are we doing in here?" I asked. "I'm going to hack into Miss Porter's

我站起来，走到走廊里。 安德里亚在那里等我。 “安德里亚，你在——”我还没来得及把话说完。 安德里亚用手捂住我的嘴。 “嘘——”她说，“波特小姐会听见的。 快，跟我来！”安德里亚冲进走廊。 我就在她后面。“这不是去洗手间的路，”我说。 “我知道，”她回答。“我们不去洗手间。” 我们转过拐角，沿着大厅一直走到电脑室。 “哦，太好了，没锁门，”安德烈边说边拉开门。 “我们在这里做什么？”我问。 “我要黑进波特小姐的电脑