1. Noooooooooo!

1 Noooooooooo! My name is A.J. and I hate washing my hands. What's the point of washing your hands? They're just going to get dirty again in a few minutes. For that matter, what's the point of washing anything? When you wash your car, it's just going to get dirty again. When you wash your clothes, they're just going to get

1 Noooooooooo !我叫A.J. 我讨厌洗手。 洗手有什么用？ 几分钟后它们又会变脏。 就此而言，洗东西有什么意义？ 当你洗车的时候，它又会变脏。 当你洗衣服的时候，它们会变得

dirty again. If you ask me, we could save a lot of time if we would stop washing stuff. Anyway, it was Friday morning. Everybody in my class was putting their backpacks into their cubbies. Annoying Andrea and her crybaby friend Emily were washing their hands in the sink at the back of the room. "I always wash my hands to start each day," said Andrea. "It makes me feel clean." "Me too," said Emily, who always does everything Andrea does. "Hey, do you want to come over to my house after school today?" "Sorry," Andrea told her, "but I have my computer class after school." What is her problem? Andrea is the only kid in our class who has her own smartphone, and she takes classes after school in everything. If they gave a class in nose picking, she would take that class so

脏了。如果你问我，我会说如果我们不再洗东西，我们可以节省很多时间。 不管怎样，那是星期五的早晨。 我班上的每个人都把书包放进了小柜子里。 烦人的安德里亚和她爱哭的朋友艾米丽正在房间后面的水槽里洗手。 “我总是在每天开始前洗手，”安德里亚说。 “这让我感觉很干净。”“我也是，”艾米丽说，她总是做安德里亚做的每件事。 “嘿，今天放学后你想来我家吗？”“对不起，”安德里亚告诉她，“但是放学后我有计算机课。” 她有什么问题？安德里亚是我们班唯一一个有自己的智能手机的孩子，她放学后还要上各种各样的课。 如果他们开了一门挖鼻的课，她也会去上的

she could get better at it. That's when our teacher, Mr. Cooper, came flying into the room. And I do mean flying. Mr. Cooper wears a cape, and he thinks he's a superhero. For once, he didn't trip over anything and fall on the floor. "I have to go to the bathroom to wash my hands," Mr. Cooper said. "I'll be right back. It's an emergency!" A hand-washing emergency? That was weird. When Mr. Cooper came back from the bathroom, we pledged the allegiance and did Word of the Day. "I have big news," he told us. Uh-oh. Big news usually means bad news. "You were fired?" asked Michael, who never ties his shoes. "You're quitting?" asked Ryan, who will eat anything, even stuff that isn't food. "You're dying?" asked Neil, who we call

她可以做得更好。 就在这时，我们的老师库珀先生飞奔进了房间。 我指的是飞行。库珀先生披着斗篷，他认为自己是个超级英雄。 这一次，他没有被任何东西绊倒而跌倒在地板上。 “我得去洗手间洗手，”库珀说。 “我马上就回来。这是紧急情况！”紧急洗手？ 这很奇怪。库珀先生从洗手间回来后，我们宣誓效忠，开始做每日一词。 “我有个大新闻，”他告诉我们。 哦。大新闻通常意味着坏消息。 “你被解雇了？”迈克尔问，他从来不系鞋带。 “你要戒烟？”瑞恩问，他什么都吃，甚至不是食物的东西。 “你要死了？”我们叫他尼尔

the nude kid even though he wears clothes. "The earth is going to be destroyed by an asteroid?" asked Alexia, this girl who rides a skateboard all the time. "No, it's none of those things," said Mr. Cooper. "The big news is that I'm going to be away all next week." WHAT?! That's even worse than the earth getting destroyed by an asteroid!

那个裸体的孩子，尽管他穿着衣服。 “地球会被一颗小行星摧毁吗？”阿历克西娅问，她是一个一直玩滑板的女孩。 “不，这些都不是，”库珀说。 “大新闻是我下周要离开一整个星期。” 什么? !这比地球被小行星摧毁还要糟糕！

"I'm going to visit my sister," Mr. Cooper told us. "She lives in Spain." "Noooooooooo!" "Don't go!" "You can't leave us!" Everybody was yelling and screaming and shrieking and hooting and hollering and freaking out. Even with a weird teacher like Mr. Cooper, at least you know what to expect. When there's a substitute teacher, you never know what you're gonna get. The sub could be even weirder. "Who will be our teacher?" asked Alexia. "Will it be a man?" asked Neil. "Will it be a lady?" "Will she be nice?" asked Emily, who always cares about how nice everybody is. "I really don't know," Mr. Cooper told us. "Dr. Carbles from the Board of Education told me he's going to find somebody to take my place while I'm gone."

“我要去看我妹妹，”库珀先生告诉我们。 “她住在西班牙。”“Noooooooooo !”“别走!”“你不能离开我们！”每个人都在大喊大叫，尖叫，尖叫，尖叫，尖叫，吓坏了。 即使有库珀先生这样古怪的老师，至少你知道会发生什么。 当有代课老师的时候，你永远不知道你会学到什么。 潜艇可能更奇怪。 “谁来当我们的老师？”阿丽克西娅问。 “会是个男人吗？”尼尔问。 “会是一位女士吗？”“她会很好吗？”爱米丽问，她总是关心每个人有多好。 “我真的不知道，”库珀告诉我们。 “教育委员会的卡伯斯博士告诉我，我不在的时候，他会找人接替我的位置。”