7 Blah Blah Blah

7 Blah Blah Blah It was graduation day. At last! I didn't care much about graduation, but I couldn't wait to see Lil Mouse live and in person. After I woke up, I brushed my teeth and put on my cap and gown. Then I went downstairs for breakfast. "I look ridorkulous," I announced to my parents.

这是毕业的日子。 终于!我不太关心毕业，但我迫不及待地想亲眼见到小老鼠。 醒来后，我刷了牙，戴上帽子，穿上长袍。 然后我下楼吃早饭。 “我看起来很可笑，”我对父母说。

"You're right, for once," said my big sister, Amy. "Don't be silly," said my dad. "You look very handsome, A.J." "We are so proud of you, A.J.," said my mother. She looked like she was going to start crying. "It's just third grade, Mom!" I told her. "It's not like I'm graduating from college." "Ha!" snorted Amy. "As if that's ever gonna happen." We drove to school and went in the side entrance to the all-porpoise room. I don't know why they call it the all-porpoise room. There are no dolphins in there. But the room was filled with teachers and parents and grandparents and great-grandparents and aunts and uncles and brothers and sisters and a bunch of other people who looked like they just showed up because they had nothing better to do. Some of the moms from the PTA*

“你说得对，就这一次，”我姐姐艾米说。 “别傻了，”爸爸说。 “你看起来很帅，A.J.” “我们真为你骄傲，aj，”妈妈说。 她看起来好像要哭了。 “这只是三年级，妈妈！”我告诉了她。 “我又不是刚从大学毕业。” “哈！”艾美哼了一声。“好像这事会发生似的。” 我们开车去学校，从侧门进入海豚室。 我不知道他们为什么叫它海豚室。 那里没有海豚。 但房间里坐满了老师、父母、祖父母、曾祖父母、叔叔阿姨、兄弟姐妹和一群其他人，他们看起来只是因为没有更好的事情可做才出现的。 一些家长会的妈妈们

were selling hot cross buns. The rest of the parents were taking pictures. Of course. Parents love taking pictures. "Oh no," I groaned. "Not pictures!" "This is a milestone, A.J.," my dad said. Everything is a milestone with parents. I could clip my toenails and my parents would say it was a milestone. Then they'd take pictures of me clipping my toenails. Ryan's and Michael's parents were taking pictures next to us, so of course the grown-ups had to gather the three of us together for a group shot. "Don't they look handsome?" said Michael's mom.

我们在卖热十字面包。 其余的家长都在拍照。 当然可以。父母喜欢拍照。 “哦，不，”我呻吟道。“没有照片!”“这是个里程碑，aj，”我爸说。 和父母在一起，一切都是里程碑。 我可以剪脚趾甲，我父母会说这是一个里程碑。 然后他们会拍我剪脚趾甲的照片。 瑞安和迈克尔的父母在我们旁边拍照，所以大人们当然得把我们三个凑在一起合影。 “他们看起来不帅吗？”迈克尔的妈妈说。

"Smile!" all the parents shouted. First they took pictures of me and Ryan and Michael. Then they took pictures of me and Michael. Then they took pictures of me and Ryan. Then they took pictures of Ryan and Michael. Then they took selfies of themselves with me and Ryan and Michael in the background. Ugh. I thought I was gonna die from old age.

“微笑！”所有的父母都喊道。 首先他们拍了我，瑞恩和迈克尔的照片。 然后他们给我和迈克尔拍了照。 然后他们拍了我和瑞恩的照片。 然后他们给瑞恩和迈克尔拍了照片。 然后他们和我、瑞恩和迈克尔一起自拍。 啊。我以为我要老死了。

"Hey, let's get the brothers and sisters in there!" shouted my dad. "No!" shouted me and Ryan and Michael. My dad once told me that when he was a kid in prehistoric times, people couldn't take a million hundred pictures of every little thing they did. Cameras needed this stuff called film, and when you ran out of film, you couldn't take any more pictures. I miss the good old days, before I was born. Finally, the picture-taking torture was over. The parents were sobbing and blowing their noses into tissues. Well, they were blowing their snot into the tissues. It could be dangerous to blow your whole nose into a tissue. "I can't believe my baby Ryan is graduating from third grade," blubbered Ryan's mom. "It seems like only yesterday he was in diapers." "Dude," I said to Ryan, "you wore diapers yesterday?"

“嘿，让我们把兄弟姐妹都叫进去！”爸爸喊道。 “不！”我、瑞恩和迈克尔喊道。 我爸爸曾经告诉我，当他还是个孩子的时候，在史前时代，人们不可能为他们所做的每一件小事拍上一百万张照片。 照相机需要一种叫做胶卷的东西，当胶卷用完了，你就不能再拍了。 我怀念我出生前的美好时光。 最后，拍照的折磨结束了。 父母们一边抽泣一边用纸巾擤鼻涕。 他们在往纸巾里喷鼻涕。 把整个鼻子都擤进纸巾里是很危险的。 “我真不敢相信我的宝贝瑞恩要从三年级毕业了，”瑞恩的妈妈哭着说。 “就像昨天他还穿着尿布一样。” “老兄，”我对瑞恩说，“你昨天穿尿布了吗？”

We were told to take our seats up on the stage. I had to sit between annoying Andrea and crybaby Emily. Alexia and Neil were sitting in the row behind me. "Where's Lil Mouse?" Neil asked me. I looked around. Lil Mouse was not in the house. "Celebrities always show up late," I told Neil. "That way they can make a grand entrance."

我们被告知在台上就座。 我不得不坐在烦人的安德里亚和爱哭的艾米丽之间。 亚历克西娅和尼尔坐在我后面一排。 “小老鼠在哪儿？”尼尔问我。 我环顾四周。小老鼠不在房子里。 “名人总是迟到，”我告诉尼尔。 “这样他们就能隆重入场。”