3 A Face in the Woods

3 A Face in the Woods While we were eating lunch in the vomitorium that day, everybody was bummed about graduation. Nobody had much to say. During recess, we all just sat around the monkey bars in the playground. I didn't even want to go to graduation. It was sure to be a big snoozefest. That's when the weirdest thing in the

history of the world happened. But I'm not going to tell you what it was. Okay, okay, I'll tell you. I was hanging upside down on the monkey bars when I noticed something in the woods behind the playground. Just as the wind blew against the trees, I caught a glimpse of something—or someone. "What was that?" I said, pointing to the woods. "What was what?" asked Ryan. "I just saw a face in the trees over there," I said as I hopped down off the monkey bars. I peered into the woods, but I couldn't see the face anymore.

"What did he look like?" asked Michael.

"I don't know if it was a he," I replied. "I think the person was wearing a hat and looking through binoculars." "Maybe it's a robber," said Neil. "Maybe it's an international supervillain who wants to take over the world," said Michael, who thinks everybody wants to take over the world. "Stop trying to scare Emily," said Andrea. "I'm scared," whimpered Emily. "Maybe it's Amelia Earhart," suggested Ryan. Amelia Earhart was a lady who was trying to fly a plane around the world. She disappeared and nobody knows what happened to her. "I think the blood was rushing to your head, A.J.," said Alexia. "Maybe it was just a mirage." "Yes, you were probably just seeing things, Arlo," said Andrea. "I was seeing things!" I insisted. "I was seeing somebody hiding in the

woods!" "We should tell Officer Spence, the security guard," said Ryan. "Nah," I said. "Let's go look for ourselves. Come on, follow me." Everybody climbed down off the monkey bars and followed me across the soccer field. I figured we should sneak over to the side and come around the back so the mysterious person in the woods wouldn't see us coming. We were slinking around on our tiptoes, like secret agents. It was cool. "Okay, everybody be quiet," I whispered as we made our way through the woods. "What if it's a monster?" asked Neil. "I'm scared," whined Emily. "Shhhhhhh!" I shushed. We slinked through the trees, being careful not to step on anything that would make noise. I didn't see anybody hiding out there. But then we came to a clearing in the

trees. I saw the back of a person sitting on a rock. It looked like a man. He was peering through binoculars at the playground. One of us must have made a noise because suddenly the man turned around. And you'll never believe in a million hundred years who was hiding in the woods. I'm not going to tell you. Okay, okay, I'll tell you. It was Mr. Klutz, our old principal! Betcha didn't see that coming! "Mr. Klutz!" we all shouted. A few months ago, Mr. Klutz was forced to retire by Dr. Carbles, the president of the Board of Education. He's a mean man who drives a tank to school. Dr. Carbles hired Mrs. Stoker to be the new principal. I almost didn't recognize Mr. Klutz because he had grown a beard. That was weird, because it means he can grow hair