2 All the Good Ones Are Dead

2 All the Good Ones Are Dead The announcement was from Mrs. Patty, our school secretary. "Third graders," said Mrs. Patty, "please report to the media center." We walked a million hundred miles to the media center, which used to be called the library, but they changed the name. Nobody knows why. Mrs. Roopy was waiting for us at the

door. She's our media specialist. She used to be called the librarian, but they changed the name. Nobody knows why. "Good morning, everyone," said Mrs. Roopy. "I'm so excited that you kids are graduating from third grade! Congratulations! I have some good news and some better news for you." "What's the good news?" asked Neil. "The good news is that I'm going to be in charge of your graduation!"

"YAY!" we all shouted. "What's the better news?" asked Alexia. "The better news is that Mrs. Stoker said I could bring in a guest speaker for your graduation." "YAY!" we all shouted. Mrs. Stoker is our new principal. The principal used to be Mr. Klutz, but he retired. A couple of years ago, I went to my sister's graduation, so I know that graduations are a total snoozefest. You have to sit around for a million hundred hours waiting for your name to be called. Then they hand you this piece of paper that your parents stick in your memory box for the rest of your life. Snore. "Hang on," said Mrs. Roopy. "I'll be right back. I have to make a quick phone call." She dashed out of the room. So I did what I always do when there are no teachers around. I stood up on my chair

and shook my butt at the class. "Arlo, sit down," said Andrea, rolling her eyes. She calls me by my real name because she knows I don't like it. A few minutes later, Mrs. Roopy came back. The weird thing was she didn't look like Mrs. Roopy anymore. She was dressed like a man with a bushy mustache, glasses, and a jacket and tie. She must have stuffed a pillow under her shirt because she looked a lot bigger. "Why are you dressed like that, Mrs. Roopy?" asked Ryan. "Who's Mrs. Roopy?" said Mrs. Roopy. "Never heard of her. My name is Teddy Roosevelt. I was the twenty-sixth president of the United States. My face is on Mount Rushmore."

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Mrs. Roopy is loopy. Teddy Roosevelt died like a million hundred years ago. We all knew it was just Mrs. Roopy dressed up like Teddy Roosevelt. Well, almost all of us knew it. "You're my favorite president!" said Emily, who will fall for anything. "May I be the speaker at your graduation?" asked Mrs. Roopy, I mean Teddy Roosevelt. "I'll tell you stories of my days as a trust buster." Trust buster? I didn't know what he was talking about. I looked at Ryan. Ryan looked at Alexia. Alexia looked at Neil. Neil looked at Andrea. We were all looking at each other. "I'll tell you what," Teddy Roosevelt said. "You kids think it over. I have to go bust some trusts." Huh? What's a trust? And why would anybody want to bust one? Teddy Roosevelt ran out of the room. A few minutes later, Mrs. Roopy came back, wearing her regular clothes.