1 The Truth about Page Twenty-Three

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1 The Truth about Page Twenty-Three My name is A.J. and I know what you're thinking. You're thinking about clams. Because that's what I'm thinking about. The other day my mom said I looked like I was happy as a clam. What?! How does she know that clams are happy? I bet there are a lot of sad clams out there. I know that if I was a clam, I'd be sad. Who wants to sit around in the mud all

day waiting for some walrus to eat you? The point is, it was June 1, and you know what that means. It means the next day would be June 2! June 1 also means that school is almost over for the year. And that means third grade is almost over. YAY!* Boy, third grade sure took a long time! I feel like I've been in third grade for fourteen years. I had just put my backpack in my cubby when our teacher, Mr. Cooper, came flying into the room. And I do mean flying. Mr. Cooper thinks he's a superhero, and he wears a cape. That's weird. As usual, he tripped over somebody's umbrella, fell down, and almost took out a row of desks. "I'm fine!" Mr. Cooper said as he brushed the dirt off his pants. Then, like every day, we pledged the allegiance and did Word of the Day. "Okay," said Mr. Cooper, "turn to

page twenty-three in your math books." Ugh. I hate math. Why do we need math when we have calculators? I didn't bother getting out my math book or turning to page twenty-three. Why should I? Every time Mr. Cooper tells us to turn to page twenty-three in our math books, there's some interruption. It's always an announcement over the loudspeaker telling us to go to the all- porpoise room or the playground for a surprise assembly. Mr. Cooper has been trying to teach us page twenty-three all year. I'm sure it's some really hard math problem. So I just sat there while everybody else got out their math books. "A.J.," said Mr. Cooper, "why aren't you taking out your math book?" "What's the point?" I replied. "There's gonna be an announcement. You'll see." I looked at the loudspeaker on the wall. There was no announcement.

Andrea Young, this annoying girl with curly brown hair, got out her math book and turned to page twenty-three. Ryan, who will eat anything, got out his math book and turned to page twenty- three. Michael, who never ties his shoes, got out his math book and turned to page

twenty-three. I waited. And waited. And waited. No announcement! I was starting to get nervous. Neil, who we call the nude kid even though he wears clothes, got out his math book and turned to page twenty-three. Crybaby Emily got out her math book and turned to page twenty-three. Alexia, this girl who rides a skateboard all the time, got out her math book and turned to page twenty-three. Everybody was taking out their math books and turning to page twenty-three. Everybody except me. "A.J.," said Mr. Cooper, "there isn't going to be an announcement this morning. I checked with the office. Please take out your math book and turn to page twenty-three." "No!" I said. Mr. Cooper put his hands on his hips. When a grown-up puts their hands on