7 The Big Joke-Off

7 The Big Joke-Off I'd never heard of a joke-off. I didn't know what it was. But the news about the big joke-off between Mrs. Stoker and Mrs. Jafee spread around the school like wildfire. Well, not exactly. That would have been dangerous. But when the dismissal bell rang, just about everybody who

我从来没听说过什么笑话。 我不知道那是什么。 但是关于斯托克太太和杰菲太太之间的大玩笑的消息像野火一样传遍了学校。 嗯，不完全是。那将是危险的。 但是下课铃一响，几乎每个人都

wasn't taking the bus home went out to the playground. We were all buzzing, which was weird because we're not bees. Five minutes later, Mrs. Stoker came out of the school and walked over to the middle of the blacktop. Then Mrs. Jafee came out. She was holding a book called 1001 Insults for All Occasions. They both looked really serious. "Mrs. Stoker is gonna crush Mrs. Jafee," I heard some fourth grader say. "She's a professional comedian." "You can do it, Mrs. Jafee!" shouted some other kid. We formed a big circle around Mrs. Jafee and Mrs. Stoker. Everybody stopped talking. "I am the rightful principal of Ella Mentry School," said Mrs. Jafee. "In your dreams!" said Mrs. Stoker.

他没有坐公共汽车回家，而是去了操场。 我们都在嗡嗡作响，这很奇怪，因为我们不是蜜蜂。 五分钟后，斯托克夫人从学校出来，走到柏油路中央。 然后杰菲太太走了出来。她手里拿着一本叫《各种场合的1001种侮辱》的书。 他们俩看上去都很严肃。 “斯托克太太会打败杰菲太太的，”我听到一个四年级学生说。 “她是个职业喜剧演员。” “你能做到的，杰菲太太！”另一个孩子喊道。 我们在杰菲太太和斯托克太太周围围成一个大圈。 大家都不说话了。 “我是艾拉门特里学校的合法校长，”杰菲夫人说。 “做梦吧！”斯托克太太说。

"I was hired fair and square. I got the job. Why don't you go count the spoons in the lunchroom?"* "OOOOOOOO!" everybody ooooooooed. "There's only one way to settle this," said Mrs. Jafee. "A joke-off. You and me. No jokes barred. The first one to laugh is the loser. The other one gets to be principal. Agreed?" "Agreed," said Mrs. Stoker. I guess joke-offs are one of those things that grown-ups do when kids aren't around. Because Mrs. Jafee and Mrs. Stoker seemed to know exactly what to do. They shook hands. Then they stood back-to-back. Then they walked five paces away from each other and turned around. You should have been there. There was electricity in the air!

“我被光明正大地雇用了。 我得到了那份工作。你为什么不去餐厅数一数勺子？*“呜——呜——呜！”每个人都呜——呜。 “只有一个办法可以解决这个问题，”杰菲太太说。 “joke-off。你和我。不禁止开玩笑。 第一个笑的人是失败者。 另一个是本金。 同意吗?”“同意，”斯托克太太说。 我想开玩笑是大人在孩子不在的时候会做的事情之一。 因为贾菲太太和斯托克太太似乎知道该怎么做。 他们握了握手。然后他们背靠背站着。 然后他们彼此走了五步远，然后转过身来。 你应该去的。 空气中充满了电！

Well, not really. We already discussed that in Chapter Three. Mrs. Jafee went first. She opened her book. "If you were any dumber," she said to Mrs. Stoker, "somebody would have to water you twice a week."

嗯，不完全是。我们已经在第三章讨论过了。 杰菲太太先走了。她打开书。 “如果你再笨一点，”她对斯托克太太说，“就得有人每周给你浇两次水了。”

"OOOOOOOO!" everybody ooooooooed.

“呜——呜——呜！”每个人都呜——呜。

"Oh, snap!" said Ryan. Mrs. Stoker didn't crack a smile. "That was totally pathetic," she said. "I would say you're as dumb as a rock, but at least a rock can hold a door open." "OOOOOOOO!" everybody ooooooooed. "Oh, snap!" said Ryan. Mrs. Jafee didn't laugh. She was frantically flipping through the pages in her book. "Nice try," Mrs. Jafee said. "Y'know, I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the garbage." "OOOOOOOO!" everybody ooooooooed. "Oh, snap!" said Ryan. "I fail to see the humor," said Mrs. Stoker. "You're the reason why they have to put directions on shampoo

“哦，糟了！”瑞恩说。斯托克太太没有笑。 “这太可悲了，”她说。 “我会说你像石头一样笨，但至少石头可以把门打开。” “呜——呜——呜！”每个人都呜——呜。 “哦，糟了！”瑞恩说。杰菲太太没有笑。 她疯狂地翻动着她的书。 “好样的，”杰菲太太说。 “你知道，我今天想到了你。 它提醒我把垃圾扔出去。” “呜——呜——呜！”每个人都呜——呜。 “哦，糟了！”瑞恩说。“我看不出这有什么好笑的，”斯托克太太说。 “你就是他们必须在洗发水上注明使用说明的原因