4 Bad Jokes and Dad Jokes

4 Bad Jokes and Dad Jokes We were told there was going to be another assembly so Mrs. Stoker could introduce herself to everyone from kindergarten to fifth grade. So we walked a million hundred miles to the all-porpoise room again. This time, I got to sit next to Ryan. Mrs. Stoker was up on the stage, waving to everybody as we

came in. "Hey," she said after all the classes were seated. "How is everybody feeling today? Anybody here from out of town?" "I live here," some first grader shouted. "Well, it's great to be here," said Mrs. Stoker. "Here is way better than there. I'm so excited to be your new principal. I was telling some of the kids out on the playground that I was bad student as a child. Really bad." "How bad were you?" somebody yelled.

"I was so bad," said Mrs. Stoker, "that on the first day of ninth grade I brought a ladder with me." "Why?" somebody yelled.

"Well, they told me it was high school," said Mrs. Stoker. "Get it? Ladder? High school?" A few kids laughed. "When I was a kid, I used to eat my homework for dessert," continued Mrs. Stoker. "Well, it wasn't my fault. My teacher said our homework was a piece of cake. Ha ha! In my school days, they made us take our tests in the jungle. You know why? Because there were too many cheetahs! Get it?" Mrs. Stoker doubled over laughing at her own jokes. I made sure to laugh even though they weren't that funny. You should always laugh at the principal's jokes, even if they're not funny. That's the first rule of being a kid. She went on... "There are so many different kinds

of schools, am I right? Surfers go to boarding school. People who sell ice cream go to sundae school." Boy, she sure knows a lot of jokes. "Do you know what a witch's favorite school subject is?" continued Mrs. Stoker. "Spelling! Get it? But seriously, did you ever notice that math books seem so sad? Well, they do have a lot of problems." And she went on... "Do you know what the king of all school supplies is?" "What?" we shouted. "The ruler!" said Mrs. Stoker. "Get it? Hey, what's the difference between a teacher and a train?" "What?" we all shouted. "A teacher tells you to spit out your gum, but a train goes 'Chew chew'!" Mrs. Stoker doubled over laughing

at her own joke again. "She is hilarious!" Ryan said to me. "She's going to be a great principal," I agreed. Everybody gave Mrs. Stoker a round of applause. "Well, that's my time, kids," she said. "I'll be here until June. You've been a wonderful audi—" Mrs. Stoker didn't have the chance to finish her sentence because our vice principal, Mrs. Jafee, stood up and raised her hand. "May I ask a question?" she said. "Certainly," said Mrs. Stoker. "Ask away." "What qualifies you to be a principal?" asked Mrs. Jafee.