3 Meet Mrs Stoker

3 Meet Mrs. Stoker Only a few minutes had passed after Mr. Klutz's helicopter flew away. We were about to go back inside the school. But Dr. Carbles came out and told us to stay on the playground. That's when I heard a weird noise up in the sky. It was another helicopter! This one was red. And it was heading right for

the playground! "It must be our new principal!" somebody shouted. "I thought I would be the new principal!" said Mrs. Jafee. "Beat it, Jafee," said Dr. Carbles. "Go count the spoons in the lunchroom, or whatever it is vice principals do all day." "Oh, snap!" said Ryan. Mrs. Jafee stormed inside the school. She looked really mad. The helicopter hovered overhead for a few seconds, and then it landed on the blacktop. The rotors stopped spinning. The marching band played that song about hail again. We waited for the helicopter door to open. There was electricity in the air! Well, not really. If there was electricity in the air, we would have all

been electrocuted. But we were all glued to our seats. Well, not exactly. We weren't even sitting down. Why would you glue yourself to a seat, anyway? How would you get the glue off your pants? Dr. Carbles went over to the helicopter and opened the door. A lady stepped out. She was young and skinny, and she had strawberry blonde hair. "I'd like to introduce the new principal of Ella Mentry School," announced Dr. Carbles. "This is... Mrs. Stoker!" We all clapped even though she didn't do anything except step out of the helicopter. What's up with that? Getting out of a helicopter isn't any big deal. "It's great to be here," Mrs. Stoker said into the microphone. "Me, I didn't like school very much when I was a kid.

I always got punished for things I didn't do. Like my homework!" Everybody laughed. Mrs. Stoker smiled. "No, I wasn't a very good student," she continued. "One time, my teacher asked me to write a sentence with the word 'lettuce' in it. I wrote 'Lettuce out of school early.'" Everybody laughed again. "Hey, the new principal is funny!" somebody shouted. "Yes," she continued, "school was really hard for me. In fact, I almost drowned when I got my report card one time. It's true. My grades were below C level. Get it? Drowned? Below C level?"

I didn't get it. Only a few kids laughed. Mrs. Stoker tapped the microphone with her finger. "Is this thing on?" she asked. "Hey, nice monkey bars over there. I didn't know monkeys were allowed in bars. But seriously, kids, do you know why the kindergartner crossed the

playground? To get to the other slide!" "Ha ha ha!" laughed Dr. Carbles. "You are hilarious, Mrs. Stoker. Welcome to Ella Mentry School." She told a few more jokes, and then we gave her another round of applause. As Mrs. Stoker was walking into the school, Andrea ran over to her. Of course. It figured that Andrea would try to get in good with the new principal before anybody else. "My name is Andrea," said Andrea. "Where did you work as a principal before, Mrs. Stoker?" "Oh, no," replied Mrs. Stoker. "I've never been a principal before." "So I guess you used to be a teacher?" asked Andrea. "Nope," said Mrs. Stoker. "I've never been a teacher." "A librarian?"