1 Surprise!

1 Surprise! My name is A.J. and I know what you're thinking. You're thinking about ants. I know, because that's what I'm thinking about. Did you know that a drone ant lives just three days? Three days! That's its whole life! What can you do in three days? That's not even enough time go

1惊喜!我叫A.J. 我知道你在想什么 你在想蚂蚁。 我知道，因为我也在想这个。 你知道雄蚁只能活三天吗？ 三天!这就是它的一生！你三天能做什么？ 时间都不够了

on a vacation. Not that drone ants take vacations. Where would they go? Next door? Some vacation! I looked this up—male mosquitoes only live about one week. That's it. If you were a male mosquito, I guess you could at least go on a vacation for a week. But as soon as you got home from vacation, you'd drop dead. Bummer in the summer! If I was a mosquito on vacation, I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself because the whole time I'd be thinking about dropping dead the minute I got home. That would be one crummy vacation. My parents are forty-something years old. That's really old. Well, it's old compared to ants and mosquitoes, anyway. I'd rather be a person than an ant or a mosquito. At least you can take

去度假。并不是说蚂蚁会休假。 他们会去哪里？隔壁吗? 一些假期!我查了一下——雄性蚊子只能活一周左右。 就是这样。如果你是一只雄蚊子，我想你至少可以去度假一个星期。 但你一度假回来，就会倒地而死。 夏天的流浪者！如果我是一只度假的蚊子，我就无法享受自己的生活，因为我一直在想我一到家就会死掉。 那将是一个糟糕的假期。 我的父母都四十多岁了。 那真的很老了。好吧，不管怎么说，和蚂蚁和蚊子比起来，它是老的。 我宁愿做一个人，也不愿做一只蚂蚁或蚊子。 至少你可以

a vacation without worrying so much. The point is, I was in Mr. Cooper's class at school the other day. We had just pledged the allegiance and did Word of the Day. "Turn to page twenty-three in your math books," said Mr. Cooper. Ugh. I hate math. When I grow up, I'm going to be a professional skateboarder. I won't need to know math. I'll need to know how to do a kickflip. Why don't they teach that in school? But it must have been my lucky day. Before I could open my math book, an announcement came over the loudspeaker. "Grades K through five, please report to the all-porpoise room for a surprise assembly." YAY! (That's also YAY backward.)

一个不用担心这么多的假期。 重点是，那天我在学校跟库珀先生同班。 我们刚刚宣誓效忠，做了每日一词。 “翻到数学课本的第二十三页，”库珀先生说。 啊。我讨厌数学。当我长大了，我要成为一名职业滑板手。 我不需要知道数学。 我需要知道怎么做踢空翻。 为什么学校不教这个？ 但今天一定是我的幸运日。 我还没来得及打开数学书，扩音器里就传来了一则通知。 “ K至五年级的学生，请到海豚室报到，准备一个突击集合” 耶!（这也是一种倒退。）

Surprises are cool. Well, not all surprises. If I was walking down the street and a zombie jumped out from behind a tree and ate my brains, that would be a surprise. But it wouldn't be very cool. "Pringle up, everybody," Mr. Cooper said. We got in line and walked a million hundred miles to the all-porpoise room.* The whole school was in there. I had to sit between crybaby Emily and annoying Andrea, this girl with curly brown hair. "I'll be back in a few minutes," Mr. Cooper told us. He got up and went backstage behind the curtain. I noticed that a bunch of other teachers got out of their seats and went backstage too.

惊喜很酷。好吧，也不全是惊喜。 如果我走在街上，一个僵尸从树后跳出来，吃了我的大脑，那将是一个惊喜。 但这不会很酷。 “大家都振作起来，”库珀说。 我们排好队，走了100万英里来到海豚室。整个学校的人都在那里。 我不得不坐在爱哭的艾米丽和烦人的安德里亚之间，那个棕色卷发的女孩。 “我几分钟后就回来，”库珀先生告诉我们。 他站起来，走到后台的幕布后面。 我注意到其他一些老师也从座位上站起来到后台去了。

Hmmm, that was weird. "I bet the teachers are going to put on a play for us," said Andrea, clapping her hands. "I'm sure you're right," said Emily, who always thinks Andrea is right. But the teachers didn't put on a play for us. Instead, the weirdest thing in the history of the world happened. Mr. Klutz, our principal, walked into the all-porpoise room. Well, that's not the weird part. Mr. Klutz walks into the all-porpoise room

嗯，真奇怪。“我敢打赌老师们要为我们表演一出戏，”安德烈拍着手说。 “我相信你是对的，”艾米丽说，她一直认为安德里亚是对的。 但是老师们并没有为我们表演戏剧。 相反，世界历史上最奇怪的事情发生了。 校长克鲁茨先生走进了海豚室。 这还不是奇怪的地方。 克鲁茨先生走进全是海豚的房间