2. Bok! Bok! Bok!

2 Bok! Bok! Bok! You probably think this book will be about food. Well, you're wrong! It has nothing to do with food. Why do books have to start out with stuff that relates to the rest of the book? Who made up that dumb rule? Anyway, after dunch—I mean lunch

—we went back to class with Mr. Cooper. "Turn to page twenty-three in your math books," he told us. Ugh. I hate math. That's when the weirdest thing in the history of the world happened. An announcement came over the loudspeaker. Well, that's not the weird part. Announcements come over the loudspeaker all the time. The weird part was what happened next. "Mr. Cooper, please turn on your smartboard," announced Mrs. Patty, our school secretary. Mr. Cooper turned on the smartboard. And you'll never believe in a million hundred years whose face appeared on the screen.

It was Morgan Brocklebank! "BOOOOOOOOO!" Everybody started booing. Morgan Brocklebank is this mean girl who goes to Dirk School on the other side of town. We call it "Dork School." Morgan does the Dirk morning announcements every day.

"Well, hello, Ella Mentry School losers!" said Morgan. Morgan has hated us ever since her methane-powered car, "The Dirkmobile," exploded and we won the Brain Games. The whole place smelled like cow farts. (You can read about it in a book called Miss Brown Is Upside Down!) "What can we do for you, Miss Brocklebank?" asked Mr. Cooper. "I have a challenge for you," Morgan replied. "We accept!" I shouted. Mr. Cooper held up his hand and shushed me. "Hold on, A.J.," he said. "You don't even know what she's challenging us to do yet." "Our class challenges your class to a

softball game," said Morgan, "to raise money for charity." "Softball?" whispered Alexia. "I've never played softball." "Me neither," whispered Neil. "I take pitching lessons after school," bragged Andrea. Ugh. Andrea takes lessons in everything after school. If they gave lessons in cleaning out your earwax, she would take those lessons so she could get better at it. What is her problem? "Which charity are you raising money for?" asked Mr. Cooper. "We're fighting a serious disease," replied Morgan Brocklebank. "Freckles." WHAT? "Since when are freckles a disease?" asked Ryan.

"I have freckles," said Andrea. "Me too," said Emily, who has everything Andrea has. "Me three," said Michael. "Oh no!" shouted Ryan. "We're all gonna die... from freckles!" "Run for your lives!" shouted Neil. "We've got to do something!" said Emily, and then she went running out of the room. That's ridorkulous. Lots of people have freckles. There's nothing wrong with freckles. "That's a dumb charity," Neil shouted at the smartboard. "Go find another class to challenge." Up on the screen, Morgan sneered. "Oh, I guess you're afraid to play us," she said. "I guess you're a bunch of scaredycats and chickens. Bok! Bok!