1. Dunch and Dinch

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1 Dunch and Dinch My name is A.J. and I know what you're thinking. You're thinking about eating. I know, because that's what I'm thinking about. My friend Ryan thinks about eating all the time. He'll eat anything, even stuff that isn't food. One time, he ate a

piece of the seat cushion on the school bus.* The other day, we were in the vomitorium talking about our favorite meal of the day. My favorite meal is breakfast. Ryan said his favorite meal is brunch. "Brunch isn't a real meal," I told him. "It's just breakfast and lunch at the same time." "In my family, we call that lunfast," said Michael, who never ties his shoes. "It's lunch and breakfast together." "Your family is weird," I told Michael. "Our family likes to combine lunch and dinner," said Alexia, this girl who rides a skateboard all the time. "We call it linner." "That's not linner," said Neil, who

we call the nude kid even though he wears clothes. "In my family, lunch and dinner together is lupper." "That's lunner," said Michael. "Do you know what my family calls lunch and dinner?" asked Ryan. "Dunch." "We call lunch and dinner dinch," said Michael. "What?!" I said. "Dunch and dinch aren't words." "They are too." "Are not." Dunch and dinch are definitely not words. You should look them up in a dictionary. I bet they're not there. "Sometimes, my family has breakfast for dinner," said Andrea, this annoying girl with curly brown hair. "We call it brinner."

"I agree with Andrea," said her crybaby friend Emily, who always agrees with Andrea. Breakfast for dinner? What's up with that? I could see eating breakfast for lunch, or lunch for breakfast. I could see eating lunch for dinner, or dinner for lunch. But eating breakfast for dinner? If you ask me, that should be illegal. Meals should stay in their own lane. Food is weird.