8 Proof

8 Proof After Mr. O'Harrison left, it was time for us to go to science class. We walked a million hundred miles to the science lab. In the hallway, we saw Mrs. Patty with her snake basket again. "Would you like to touch Jake the Snake?" she asked us.

"We already did that!" Ryan reminded her. "He's my baby," said Mrs. Patty. Sheesh! Mrs. Patty should give it a rest with that snake already. Our science teacher is Mr. Docker. I mean, Mr. O'Docker. You'll never believe what weird thing he was doing when we walked into the science lab. I'm not going to tell you. Okay, okay, I'll tell you. He was peeling potatoes! I told you it was weird. Mr. O'Docker is off his o'rocker! He was sitting there with two big buckets in front of him. One was filled with the potatoes he'd already peeled, and the other one had the potatoes he hadn't peeled yet. "Mr. O'Docker," said Alexia. "Why are you peeling potatoes?" "I need them for my car," he replied. Oh, yeah. Mr. O'Docker has a car that doesn't use gas or electricity. It runs on potato power.* That's weird. After lunch, there must have been lots of extra potatoes in the vomitorium, so Mr. O'Docker was able to get some to use in his car.

"It's Saint Patrick's Day," he told us, "so let's talk about the science of the color green..." Oh no. We had to learn more stuff. "Green is a very interesting color," said Mr. O'Docker. "It's between blue and yellow on the visible spectrum and blah blah blah blah photosynthesis blah blah blah blah camouflage blah blah blah blah environment blah blah blah blah..." He went on like that for a million hundred hours talking about the color green. What a snoozefest! Mr. O'Docker knows a lot about science. I bet he could build an awesome leprechaun trap.

"Did you ever build a leprechaun trap, Mr. O'Docker?" I asked. He shook his head and made a little frown. "I hate to be the one to tell you kids this," he replied, "but leprechauns don't exist in the real

world. They're just imaginary creatures, like fairies and elves." Wait. Fairies and elves aren't real? Who knew? Mr. O'Docker explained that scientists don't believe in things unless they have proof. He told us about something called the scientific method, which is how scientists prove what's true and what isn't. He went on for a million hundred hours explaining the scientific method. "Blah blah blah blah..." I had no idea what he was talking about. Finally, Mr. O'Docker stopped talking. "Any questions?" he asked. "Yes," I said, raising my hand. "Can I go to the bathroom?" "I don't know, A.J.," said Mr. O'Docker. "Can you go to the bathroom?" Oh, I keep forgetting. We're not supposed to say, "Can I go to the bathroom?" We're supposed to say, "May I go to the bathroom?" Nobody knows why. "May I go to the bathroom?" I asked. "Certainly, A.J."

Mr. O'Docker said we could take a bathroom break before going back to class. Ryan and I went to the boys' bathroom, which is right across the hall from the science room. I went into one of the stalls. And you'll never believe what I found in there. If you guessed "a toilet," you're right! Of course there was a toilet in the stall. What else would you find in a bathroom stall? But it just so happens that there was something else in the stall. On the wall above the toilet, somebody had written words in green glitter... Tricky, tricky, you tried to be. Try again, you won't catch me!