6 Green Food Is Gross

6 Green Food Is Gross Yes! A leprechaun trap! If we could trap Larry the Leprechaun, we would get his pot of gold. "But first we have to clean up this mess," said Mr. O'Cooper. Bummer in the summer! Making a mess is fun, but cleaning up a mess is no fun at all. We

spent a million hundred minutes picking up all the stuff off the floor and turning our desks and chairs right side up again. By the time we were finished getting the classroom in order, it was time for lunch. We would have to wait to make our leprechaun trap. We pringled up and walked a million hundred miles to the vomitorium. It used to be called the "cafetorium," until some first grader threw up in there last year. Ever since then everybody calls it the vomitorium. Mrs. Patty was greeting kids at the door. "Do you want to touch Jake the Snake?" she was asking everybody. "We already touched him," Emily reminded her. Sheesh, Mrs. Patty sure is obsessed with that snake. "I'm so hungry," I said as we got in line. "I could eat a hundred slices of pizza." "I could eat a million slices of pizza," said Ryan. "I could eat a trillion slices of pizza," said Michael.

But there were no slices of pizza to eat. When we got to the front of the line, we saw our lunch lady, Ms. Hall. I mean, Ms. O'Hall. "What would you like for lunch?" she asked cheerfully. "I've got green beans, green bread, green eggs, green muffins, green milk, green cupcakes, green doughnuts, green pancakes with green syrup... and corned beef and cabbage." I thought I was gonna throw up. "Is the corned beef and cabbage green?" I asked. "Ugh, no!" said Ms. O'Hall. "That would be gross!"

If you ask me, any food that's green is gross. I couldn't make up my mind what to eat. "Why don't you start with some potatoes, A.J.?" Ms. O'Hall suggested. "In honor of Saint Patrick's Day, I made baked potatoes, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, hash

brown potatoes..." I wanted to go to Antarctica and live with the penguins. Penguins don't have to eat green food and potatoes. "...garlic roasted potatoes, French fried potatoes, grilled potatoes, potato skins, potato soup, potato pancakes, potato salad..."* "Do you have anything that doesn't have potato in it?" I asked Ms. O'Hall. "Well, the potato soup doesn't have much potato in it," she replied. I took some corned beef and cabbage and sat down at a long table with everybody else. They were arguing about whether or not leprechauns were real. "Larry the Leprechaun is probably just one of the teachers in disguise," said Neil. "I bet he's Mrs. O'Roopy. She's always dressing up like other people." "I say leprechauns are real," said Ryan. "They wouldn't put them on cereal boxes if they weren't real." "Don't leprechauns make shoes or something?" asked Neil. "I thought they made cookies," said Alexia.

"No, elves make cookies," said Michael. "Leprechauns make shoes." "How do you get a pot of gold by making shoes?" I asked. "I don't think shoemakers make a lot of money." "Yeah," added Emily, "and if leprechauns make shoes, how come there are no leprechaun shoe stores?" Good point. "If I got a pot of gold," said Alexia, "I would use the money to take a trip around the world." "I would buy a new video game system," said Michael. "I would put it in the bank," said Emily, "and use it to pay for college." "I would buy all the candy in the world," said Neil. "I would buy another pot of gold," I said. "So then I'd have two pots of gold." I should get another Nobel Prize for that idea.