3 Boycotts and Girlcotts

3 Boycotts and Girlcotts Finally, it was March 17—Saint Patrick's Day. My mom found a green T-shirt in the back of my closet for me to wear. When I got to school, it was like the whole world had turned green. Emily was wearing her big sister's green Girl Scout uniform and green

最后，3月17日是圣帕特里克节。 我妈妈在我的衣柜后面找到了一件绿色的t恤给我穿。 当我到学校的时候，好像整个世界都变绿了。 艾米丽穿着她姐姐的绿色女童子军制服

ribbons in her hair. Alexia had painted her toenails and finger-nails green. Neil dyed his hair green. Ryan and his mom walked their dog to school with him, and the dog was green! "What's wrong with your dog?" I asked Ryan. "We dyed him," he told me. What? Who dyes a dog? "Why did you dye your dog?" I asked. "She's an Irish setter," Ryan explained.

她头发上系着丝带。亚历克西娅把脚趾甲和指甲涂成了绿色。 尼尔把头发染成绿色。瑞恩和他的妈妈带着他们的狗去学校，狗是绿色的！“你的狗怎么了？”我问瑞恩。 “我们给他染色了，”他告诉我。 怎么啦？谁给狗染色？“你为什么给你的狗染色？”我问。 “她是一只爱尔兰塞特犬，”瑞恩解释道。

That's just weird. Mrs. Patty greeted everybody on the front steps. She was holding Jake the Snake in her basket, and she was dressed head to toe in green, of course. She even wore a silly-looking green hat that had a buckle on it.

这太奇怪了。帕蒂夫人在门前台阶上向大家打招呼。 她把蛇杰克抱在篮子里，当然，她从头到脚都穿着绿色的衣服。 她甚至戴了一顶带扣的绿帽子，看起来很傻。

Why do people have buckles on their hats? I can understand a buckle on your pants. It holds up your pants. I can understand a buckle on your shoes. It holds your shoes together. I guess a buckle on your hat holds your brain together. Mr. Klutz was wearing a green shirt with the words "Kiss Me, I'm Irish!" on it.* "I didn't know you were Irish, Mr. Klutz," I said to him. "Everybody is Irish today," he replied. "You can call me Mr. O'Klutz. Or do you think that's going overboard?" Huh? What do boats have to do with Saint Patrick's Day? Finally, the bell rang and we went inside. We pringled up and walked a million hundred miles to Mr. Cooper's class. He thinks he's a superhero. He always wears a cape. But on this day, of course, it was a green cape. And he told us we should call him Mr. O'Cooper. "Top of the mornin', everyone," Mr. O'Cooper said cheerfully. "Let's take attendance. Ryan?" "Here," said Ryan. "Michael?" "Here," said Michael.

为什么人们的帽子上要有搭扣？ 我能理解你裤子上的扣子。 它能托住你的裤子。我能理解你鞋上的扣。 它把你的鞋子连在一起。 我猜是帽子上的扣把你的大脑固定住了。 克鲁茨穿着一件绿色衬衫，上面写着“吻我，我是爱尔兰人！”“我不知道你是爱尔兰人，克鲁茨先生，”我对他说。 “现在每个人都是爱尔兰人，”他回答。 “你可以叫我奥克鲁茨先生。 或者你认为这太过分了吗？”嗯? 船和圣帕特里克节有什么关系？ 最后，铃声响了，我们走了进去。 我们振作起来，走了一百多英里去库珀先生的教室。 他认为自己是个超级英雄。 他总是披着斗篷。但在这一天，当然是绿色的披风。 他告诉我们应该叫他奥库珀先生。 “大家早上好，”奥库珀先生高兴地说。 “我们来点考勤吧。瑞恩?”“给你，”瑞恩说。 “迈克尔?”“给你，”迈克尔说。

"A.J.?" "Not here," I said. "Just kidding. I'm here." I don't get it. What's the point of taking attendance? If we weren't here, we wouldn't be able to say "here." "Alexia?" "Here," said Alexia. "Neil?" "Present," said Neil. Some joker always says "present." What's up with that? "Andrea?" said Mr. O'Cooper. Nobody said anything. I turned around. Andrea wasn't in her seat. "Andrea?" Mr. O'Cooper repeated. "Andrea?" Andrea was... absent! What?! Andrea is never absent. "Hmmm, Andrea must be sick today," said Mr. O'Cooper. "No, she isn't," said Emily. "Andrea called me this morning. She told me she doesn't approve of the way the school is celebrating Saint Patrick's Day, so she isn't coming in today." "Wow, Andrea's boycotting school?" Neil said.

“抗干扰?”“不在这里，”我说。 “开个玩笑。我在这里。”我不明白。 点名有什么意义？ 如果我们不在这里，我们就不能说“在这里”。 “失读症?”“给你。”亚历克西娅说。 “尼尔?”“现在，”尼尔说。 有些爱开玩笑的人总是说“现在”。 这是怎么回事？“安德里亚？”奥库珀先生说。 没人说话。我转过身来。 安德里亚不在座位上。 “安德里亚?”奥库珀重复了一遍。 “安德里亚?”安德里亚是……缺席!什么? !安德里亚从不缺席。 “嗯，安德里亚今天一定是病了，”奥库珀先生说。 “不，她不是，”爱米丽说。 “安德里亚今天早上打电话给我。 她告诉我她不赞成学校庆祝圣帕特里克节的方式，所以她今天不来了。” “哇，安德里亚在抵制学校？”尼尔说。

"No, she's girlcotting school," I said. "There's no such thing as girlcotting," said Michael. "Girlcott isn't a word." "It should be," said Ryan. "How come girls are allowed to boycott, but boys aren't allowed to girlcott? It's not fair!" "How come boys get a word and girls don't?" said Alexia. "That's not fair either!" "Yeah!" agreed Emily. We went on like that for a while, arguing about boycotts and girlcotts. I was trying to remember the last time Andrea missed school. I think it was on Take Your Daughter to Work Day. That was the greatest day of my life, because Andrea wasn't around to bug me.

“不，她在上女校，”我说。 “根本就没有什么女孩子玩的，”迈克尔说。 “Girlcott不是一个词。”“应该是，”瑞恩说。 “为什么允许女孩抵制，而不允许男孩抵制？” 这不公平!”“为什么男孩能听到一个词，而女孩不能？”亚历克西亚说。 “这也不公平！”“是啊！”爱米丽同意道。 我们就这样继续了一段时间，争论抵制运动和女生睡衣的问题。 我在努力回忆安德里亚上次缺课是什么时候。 我记得是在“带女儿上班日”那天。 那是我人生中最美好的一天，因为安德里亚不在我身边烦我。