1 Jake the Snake

1 Jake the Snake My name is A.J. and I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that you're reading this book. You're thinking that you're reading this sentence. Now you're thinking that you're reading this sentence.

我的名字是A.J. 我知道你在想什么 你以为你在读这本书。 你以为你在读这句话。 现在你认为你在读这个句子。

And now you're thinking that you're reading THIS sentence. But what if you're not reading this book at all? What if you're really asleep right now and you're dreaming that you're reading this book? Hmmm? Or what if this book is really reading you? Or what if you're really holding a magic chicken in your hands that can turn itself into the shape of a book, and you're reading a chicken? Okay, that would be weird. The point is, it was March. And you know what that means—Saint Patrick's Day! It was just one week away. Our class was sitting in the Book Nook of the library at Ella Mentry School. It was story time with our librarian, Mrs. Roopy. She was finishing a picture book called The Legend of Saint Patrick. "...and that's the story of how Saint Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland," read Mrs. Roopy. She closed the book and we all clapped, because that's what you're supposed to do when anybody finishes anything. Nobody knows why. "Any questions?" asked Mrs. Roopy.

现在你认为你正在读这句话。 但如果你根本不读这本书呢？ 如果你现在真的睡着了，你梦见你正在读这本书呢？ 嗯?或者如果这本书真的在读你呢？ 或者，如果你手里真的拿着一只神奇的小鸡，它可以自己变成一本书的形状，而你正在读一只小鸡呢？ 好吧，那就太奇怪了。 关键是，那是三月。 你知道那意味着什么——圣帕特里克节！只有一个星期了。 我们班坐在艾拉门特瑞学校图书馆的书角里。 这是和我们的图书管理员鲁比夫人讲故事的时间。 她当时正在完成一本名为《圣帕特里克传奇》的图画书。 ＂...这就是圣帕特里克如何把蛇赶出爱尔兰的故事，”鲁比太太读道。 她合上书，我们都鼓掌，因为当任何人完成任何事情时，你都应该这样做。 没人知道为什么。“还有问题吗？”鲁比太太问。

Andrea Young, this annoying girl with curly brown hair, raised her hand. Of course. Andrea always raises her hand. I bet that the minute she was born, the first thing Andrea did was raise her hand to ask the doctor a question. "Yes, Andrea?" asked Mrs. Roopy. "Well, I'm half Irish," Andrea said. "Which half?" I asked. "Top or bottom?"

安德里亚·杨，这个令人讨厌的棕色卷发女孩，举起了手。 当然可以。安德里亚总是举手。 我敢打赌，安德莉亚出生的那一刻，她做的第一件事就是举手问医生一个问题。 “怎么了，安德烈？”鲁比太太问。 “嗯，我有一半爱尔兰血统，”安德烈说。 “一半?”我问。“上面还是下面？”

"Arlo!" shouted Andrea. She calls me by my real name because she knows I don't like it. "Left or right half?" I asked. "Please let Andrea speak, A.J.," said Mrs. Roopy. "My mother told me that the story about Saint Patrick never really happened," said Andrea. "He didn't drive the snakes out of Ireland. My mother said they didn't even have snakes in Ireland back in those days." "Hmmmm," Mrs. Roopy said as she wrinkled up her forehead. Grown-ups always say "hmmmm" and wrinkle up their foreheads when they don't know what to say. Nobody knows why. But then Mrs. Roopy smiled. "Wait a minute!" she said excitedly. "This is... a teachable moment!" Oh no. A boring moment is more like it. Grown-ups love teachable moments. That means they get to teach us stuff. And we have to learn stuff. Learning stuff is no fun. That's why I hate teachable moments. "We can do research!" Mrs. Roopy said as she went over to the computer. "We can find out if

“阿乐！”安德烈喊道。她叫我的真名，因为她知道我不喜欢这样。 “左半边还是右半边？”我问。 “请让安德烈说，a.j.，”鲁比太太说。 “我妈妈告诉我，关于圣帕特里克的故事从来没有真正发生过，”安德烈说。 “他没有把蛇赶出爱尔兰。 我妈妈说那时候爱尔兰连蛇都没有。” “嗯，”鲁比太太皱起额头说。 大人们不知道该说什么时，总是说“嗯”，然后皱起额头。 没人知道为什么。但鲁比太太笑了。 “等一下！”她兴奋地说。 “这是……一个受教育的时刻！”哦,不。 还不如说是无聊的一刻。 成年人喜欢受教育的时刻。 这意味着他们可以教我们东西。 我们必须学习东西。 学习并不有趣。这就是为什么我讨厌受教育的时刻。 “我们可以做研究！”鲁比太太边说边走到电脑前。 “我们可以找出答案