1. A Hundred Days of Misery

1 A Hundred Days of Misery

《百日苦难

My name is A.J. and I hate February. February is the shortest month of the year. It's also the worst month of the year. Why, you ask? Four reasons... 1. It's cold, rainy, and depressing. 2. The hundredth day of the school year is in February. A hundred days!* That's a hundred days of misery, if you ask me. And we have to celebrate it, like going to school for a hundred days is a good thing! 3. February is hard to spell because it has an r in the middle of it for no reason. What's up with that? It should be spelled Febuary, if you ask me. But do you want to know the worst thing about February? I'm not gonna tell you. Okay, okay, I'll tell you. 4. Presidents' Day. Ugh. Do you know why I hate Presidents' Day?

我叫aj，我讨厌二月。 二月是一年中最短的一个月。 这也是一年中最糟糕的一个月。 你会问为什么？四个原因…… 1. 天气寒冷，多雨，令人沮丧。 2. 一学年的第100天在二月。 一百天！如果你问我的话，我觉得那是一百天的痛苦。 我们要庆祝它，就像上学一百天是一件好事一样！3. February这个单词很难拼写，因为它中间毫无理由地有一个r。 这是怎么回事？要我说，应该拼成february。 但是你想知道二月最糟糕的事情是什么吗？ 我不会告诉你的。好吧，好吧，我告诉你。 4. 总统的一天。啊。你知道我为什么讨厌总统日吗？

It's a long story. You'd better sit down. If you're already sitting down, stand up. It's all because of what happened last Presidents' Day. Or really, what happened just before last Presidents' Day, on Crazy Pet Day. My friend Neil brought in his pet ferret, Mr. Wiggles. That was the day Mr. Macky, our reading specialist, came into our classroom dressed up like Abraham Lincoln. He told us we had to do an oral report about one of the presidents for Presidents' Day. All the students were going to vote for president of the school. Then our librarian, Mrs. Roopy, came into the classroom dressed like George Washington. She and Mr. Macky told us all about the presidents to help us on our reports, even the weird ones like Millard Fillmore. Or Fillard Millmore. Or Lardfill

说来话长。你最好坐下来。 如果你已经坐着了，站起来。 这都是因为上次总统日发生的事情。 或者真的，在上一个总统日之前，在疯狂宠物日发生了什么。 我的朋友尼尔带来了他的宠物雪貂，威格斯先生。 就在那天，我们的阅读专家麦基先生打扮得像亚伯拉罕·林肯一样走进教室。 他让我们在总统日做一篇关于其中一位总统的口头报告。 所有的学生都要投票选举学校的校长。 然后，我们的图书管理员鲁比夫人穿得像乔治·华盛顿一样走进教室。 她和麦基先生告诉我们所有关于总统的事情，帮助我们写报告，甚至是像米勒德·菲尔莫尔这样奇怪的报告。 或者是菲尔德·米尔莫。或Lardfill

Moremill. Whatever his name was. You're probably wondering what Mr. Wiggles the ferret has to do with Presidents' Day. I'm getting to that. So anyway, George Washington and Abraham Lincoln started insulting each other. Lincoln said he was better than Washington because he's on the five-dollar bill and Washington is only on the one-dollar bill. Washington said he was better than Lincoln because the Washington Monument is way taller than the Lincoln Memorial. The two of them started fighting. After that, we voted to see which president would become president of the school. And do you know who won? I'm not gonna tell you. Okay, okay, I'll tell you. It wasn't George Washington or Abraham Lincoln. The winner was... Neil's pet ferret! We all voted

Moremill。不管他叫什么。 你可能想知道雪貂威格斯先生和总统日有什么关系。 我正要讲这个。总之，乔治·华盛顿和亚伯拉罕·林肯开始互相侮辱。 林肯说他比华盛顿好，因为他出现在五美元钞票上，而华盛顿只出现在一美元钞票上。 华盛顿说他比林肯好，因为华盛顿纪念碑比林肯纪念堂高得多。 他们两个打了起来。 在那之后，我们投票决定哪位校长将成为学校的校长。 你知道谁赢了吗？我不会告诉你的。 好吧，好吧，我告诉你。 不是乔治·华盛顿，也不是亚伯拉罕·林肯。 获胜者是……尼尔的宠物雪貂！我们都投票了

for him! Yes, Mr. Wiggles was now President Wiggles! That was cool.

为他!是的，威格斯先生现在是威格斯总统了！太酷了。