11. A Special Valentine

11 A Special Valentine When I got to school the next morning, Pee Air was lugging a suitcase up the front steps. "What's in the suitcase, Pee Air?" I asked. "Are you going to give us more stinky cheese?" "No, I am going back home to France today," he told me. "But I wanted to say good-bye... to my new friends before I leave."

第11篇特别的情人节第二天早上我到学校时，皮·艾尔正拖着一只手提箱走上前门的台阶。 “皮皮Air，手提箱里有什么？”我问。 “你会给我们更多的臭奶酪吗？”“不，我今天要回法国，”他告诉我。 “但是我想说再见…… 在我离开之前给我的新朋友。”

We got to our classroom, and Mr. Granite wasn't there yet. Pee Air went up to each girl in the class and kissed her hand. They were all giggling and making goo-goo eyes and getting his email address so they could stay in touch with him. Finally, Pee Air went over to Andrea. She was standing in the corner like she was hiding or something. "Your eyes... are like pools of water... in the moonlight," Pee Air said. "Beat it, you two-timer!" shouted Andrea. "Oh, snap!" said Ryan. "Andrea, you will always be my special valentine," Pee Air said as he bent down to kiss Andrea's hand. "Parting is such sweet sorrow—"

我们到了教室，格拉尼特先生还没到。 皮尔·艾尔走到班上每个女生面前，亲吻她们的手。 他们都咯咯地笑着，眉来眼去，还问了他的电子邮件地址，以便与他保持联系。 最后，Pee Air走向Andrea。 她站在角落里，好像躲起来了。 “你的眼睛…就像一池池水…… 在月光下，”皮·艾尔说。 “滚开，你这个两面三刀的家伙！”安德烈喊道。 “哦，糟了！”瑞恩说。“安德里亚，你将永远是我特别的情人，”皮·艾尔一边说一边弯下腰亲吻安德里亚的手。 “离别是如此甜蜜的忧伤——”

"Don't touch me!" she shouted as she slapped his hand away. "Yeah," I told Pee Air, "get in your S car and go home." "Au revoir," said Pee Air, whatever that means. And then he left. Mr. Granite came into the classroom and

“别碰我！”她一边喊一边甩开他的手。 “是啊，”我对Pee Air说，“开上你的S型车回家吧。” “再见。”皮·艾尔说，不知道那是什么意思。 然后他离开了。格拉尼特先生走进教室，然后

told us to take our seats. I went to put my backpack in my cubby. When I got to my seat, Andrea came over to me. She was holding a valentine. "Oh, Arlo," she said, "I've been thinking it over. You're my special valentine. You always will be." "Oooooooooo!" everybody ooooooooed. That's when the most horrible thing in the history of the world happened. Before I could do anything, Andrea leaned over and kissed me! Right on the lips! "Ugh, disgusting!" I shouted, wiping my face on my sleeve. "Ooooo!" Ryan said. "Andrea kissed A.J.! They must be in love!" "When are you and Andrea gonna get married?" asked Michael. "Leave me alone!" I shouted at Andrea.

叫我们坐好。 我去把我的背包放在我的小柜子里。 当我坐到座位上时，安德里亚向我走来。 她手里拿着一张情人卡。 “哦，阿乐，”她说，“我一直在考虑这件事。 你是我唯一的情人。 你永远都是。”“呜——呜——呜！”每个人都呜——呜。 就在那时，世界历史上最可怕的事情发生了。 我还没来得及动手，安德里亚就俯下身来吻了我！正好打在嘴唇上！“啊,真恶心!”我喊道，用衣袖擦了擦脸。 “哎呀!”瑞恩说。“安德里亚吻了A.J.!”他们一定是相爱了！”“你和安德里亚什么时候结婚？”迈克尔问。 “放开我！”我对安德里亚喊道。

"Now I have to go boil my face." That's it. That's the last straw. I'm going to run away to Antarctica and go live with the penguins. Penguins don't go around kissing each other. I don't even think penguins have lips.

“现在我得去煮脸了。” 就是这样。我实在忍无可忍了。 我要逃到南极洲去和企鹅住在一起。 企鹅不会到处接吻。 我甚至不认为企鹅有嘴唇。

Now that Valentine's Day is over, maybe people will stop saying the L word all the time. Maybe we can exchange Andrea for a video game system. Maybe French people will stop eating snails and throwing their clothes into puddles of water. Maybe Andrea will pick her nose with the same hand Pee Air kissed. Maybe I'll bring gloves to school in case I need to throw one on the ground. Maybe Napoleon will take his hand out of his shirt and get some ointment for that rash. Maybe we'll have a sword fight with baguettes. Maybe kids in France will stop spelling words wrong and bringing bears to school with them. Maybe people will stop talking about violins, running out of straws, and walking into doors all the time. But it won't be easy!

现在情人节结束了，也许人们不会一直说“爱”这个词了。 也许我们可以用安德里亚换一个电子游戏系统。 也许法国人会停止吃蜗牛和把衣服扔进水坑。 也许安德里亚会用皮·艾尔吻过的那只手挖鼻子。 也许我会带手套去学校，以防我需要把手套扔在地上。 也许拿破仑会把手从衬衫里拿出药膏来治疹子。 也许我们可以用长棍面包来一场剑战。 也许法国的孩子们不会再拼错单词，也不会再带熊去学校了。 也许人们会停止谈论小提琴，停止用完稻草，不再总是走进门里。 但这并不容易！