3. Me and My Peeps

3 Me and My Peeps After we drove a million hundred miles, my dad pulled the car into the driveway of a gigantic mansion. It looked like the White House. "WOW," I said, which is "MOM" upside down. "Who lives in this place, the president of the United States?" "No, this is Mayor Hubble's house," my mom told me. Mayor Hubble! He used to be the mayor of our town. But then he got in trouble by stealing money. I heard he was in jail. "The mayor cares so deeply about our town," Mom told me, "that he wanted to have an Easter celebration at his house even though he can't be here himself."

We walked inside. The place looked like a museum. There were paintings of Mayor Hubble hanging on the walls, and lots of servants too. Well, the servants weren't hanging on the walls. That would be weird.

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There were so many servants that I think some of the servants had servants. And they were all wearing tuxedos. Hey, how come guys in tuxedos look like penguins? What's up with that? The place was really fancy. I was afraid to touch anything or sit in a chair because a SWAT team might come running in and arrest me. Some musicians wearing tuxedos were playing that song "A-Tisket, A-Tasket," which makes no sense at all. What's a tasket? I bet they just made up that word because they couldn't think of anything else that rhymed with "basket." "Welcome to Hubble Manor," one of those servant guys said to us. "If I can do anything to make your visit here more enjoyable, please do not hesitate to ask." "Where are the Peeps?" I asked. "That's rude, A.J.!" my mom told me.

"You don't ask where the Peeps are! They'll give out Peeps when they're good and ready to give out Peeps." Mom was really mad. We walked around for a few minutes until some other servant guy came over. He was carrying a plate of food. "Or derves?" he asked. I didn't know what "or derves" were, but they looked yucky. "Man, you could get lost in this place," my dad said as he picked up one of those or derve things. "Hubble Manor has thirty-four bedrooms," said the or derve guy, "a library, a helicopter pad, twenty-three bathrooms..." Twenty-three bathrooms?! Was he joking? My house only has two bathrooms. Mayor Hubble must have to go to the bathroom all

the time. He should see a doctor about that instead of putting bathrooms all over his house." and four half bathrooms," said the or derve guy. "Half bathrooms?" I asked. "Why would anybody want half of a bathroom? What could you do with half a toilet bowl?" "A half bathroom is a powder room, sir," the guy told me. Powder room? "Mayor Hubble needs a whole room to hold powder?" I asked. "Why can't he just keep powder in a little box like normal people?" "Hmmm, most amusing," said the or derve guy as he walked away. "If you folks need anything, I am at your disposal." Disposal? What was he talking about? I didn't bring a garbage can with me.